well now i'm feeling fantabularse.

the flu has been bringing me down. been on top of the world for ages, but the last week i've been ill and on my own. i think i've worked out what makes me feel groovy, it's having the kids around. they are the crazy boost from hell.

i used to be ok to be on my own, but this last week i've been alone a bit, and i guess when you're feeling down is when you need company the most. or maybe it's just me. or maybe i realised how much i like having them around.

had a few beers (not the brightest when you've got the flu, thought it would knock me out) and watched a movie called grandma's boy. it's a frickken craic. so now i'm feeling good and only missing the kids a bit. i guess i gotta get used to that. they'll be flying from the nest pretty soon.

i hate bein away from them and i love having them around. but it's not so exciting for them, at their age they need speed and life and excitement and all at once. hanging around watchin telly, isn't so exciting, skiing doesn't seem to be turning them on, maybe it's back to surfing.

i hate feelin crook. it's summer for chrissake. it's time for surfing and skiing. gimme surf and gimme speed

i'll tell ya another thing, it's easy when you've had a few, to be honest with yourself. their mum is as cute as a basketfull of kittens, i'll probably never truly be over her, but i don't care, she's a beautiful lady with a good heart. she fell out of love with me and i can't blame her for that. what was, is over. such is life. i accept that. hell, i'm trying to tell her to meet new guys and have fun. we don't live forever.

we've made our peace and now we're mates. and her kids i'll treat as mine forever. i always gave them the option, they can call me dad or call me by name, but i'll always be their friends.

do you ever let go of past loves? maybe it's just a family thing. once you've been accepted into the family, or maybe it's just our family, we never let go. all you have to do is ask. for my family, my friends, anyone we accept into the circle, at least a few of us will look after you forever. we aren't perfect, but i like to think i look after my friends. and what is more precious than friends...


postnote thingy: i was gonna edit or delete the whole damned thing this morning. obviously i was onna beer high but i figure getting drunk and being maudlin is just part of what makes me up