Thursday, May 28, 2009

i had the grooviest dream last night.

maybe i am a sleepaholic afterall. especially between 6:00ish and 9:00

i was on a diving holiday. backpacker style accommodation but with all my good scuba gear (unlike last holiday)

i'm in the late starting group, but i'm first out of bed for this group, and it's still really early, like 6:30 - 7:00am, and i walk out the back door down to a wooden diving deck. i look out over a clear lake surrounded by a forest of trees with not much growth down low, wierd bark, not smooth like a eucalypt, more like a thin sappy prickly trunk, irregularly spaced with pine needles or something on the ground, brown from being there awhile.

the water is just magically clear, it must be very deep. clouds and clouds of bubbles coming up from the divers below. it must be at least 30 metres deep for the bubbles to be coming up in this particular pattern. you can see the individual diver's bubbles but they are spread right out. and though it's surrounded by forest, the sky is also visible very low, the water almost blends into the sky, it's not very bright, a bit grey, but not gloomy, it almost looks like the bubbles are bubbling up into the sky.

for some reason i'm solo on my first dive. i hit the bottom at 29 metres, in a wreck, it's pretty blissful, but i'm peaking a bit because i'm solo and not got redundant gear. then the whole dream kinda blurs into changing to my twinset (double tanks) and diving with another person on the holiday who is a little inexperienced, but that's ok, she's fairly competent, and i'll babysit her for a few dives so we can get back to the wreck for the cooler stuff.

i really loved the image of the bubbles coming up, a cloud curtain visible down to 5-10 metres, and almost bubbling up into the atmosphere. the sky was grey but the water was clear. oh yeah, i remember, and it was warm. i was diving in a wetsuit instead of my drysuit and it was so warm and comfortable, maybe 20 degrees C.

a very blissfull dream, made me feel pretty mellow :-)

Saturday, May 23, 2009


my brain was full, now it's empty

visions, dreams, life, pain and happiness

once upon a time there was a happy little vegemite. ahhh bugger that.

once upon a time about 20 years ago,

nah fuck that

not gonna do a history thingy either

girls. i'm pretty ignorant about a lot of things. but girls top the list. i could never be gay. got a coupla gay friends, i couldn't care if they're gay or even catholic, but that's not for me.

i see people get in out of relationships, every now and then it happens to me too. i'm pretty retarded at relationships, so usually getting out of a relationship happens pretty soon after getting in to one, every coupla years or so...

but i still love them all. each of them were lovely crazy people. love like friends, some like sisters, but still, one day, there will be the one perhaps. the last one, the one that didn't happen and then did. damn, i thought she was the one. but then, she was too much like me. ever really liked a song? then played the shit out of it? then despised it? drat! fuck!

on one hand it freaks me out, because this bird was (i thought) my closest grooviest friend, and now we don't talk. i miss talking to her. on the other hand, i guess she's exactly like me, someone who was too much and then you turned right off, you don't speak to if you can avoid it. probably good for me to get it back at me as it's happened to me twice before and now i see it from the other side.

dribble dribble. fart fart

a friend of mine once said to me "you're girl crazy Stacy!". i suspect she might have been right. every coupla years i lost the plot. and hormones drive my life

ever had a crush on someone. and then you found out she was happy, engaged, etc... and then 20 years later she turned out to be single again and your inner compass started spinning? that happened 12 months ago, maybe in another 12 months i'll pretend to be sane again....

oh and if none of this made sense. well duh! i'm drunk and read the title....

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