Wednesday, February 01, 2006

i'm nearly calm again. nearly relaxed.

well apart from my brain going round and round in circles at a million miles an hour, going nowhere, anytime i start to think about going on a date tomorrow night.

i'm trying to tell myself that it's ok, i know i can be really happy living on my own and being single. i'm content happy ect ect... and i know the last few relationships i was in, i really didn't want to be in after i'd been in them only a short time. i'll just test the waters, and if there's nothing there, no problem.

so why the hell am i doing this? the last few times i've ended a relationship i tell myself that's the last time. i can just have lots of cold showers.

this does feel different though. like a couple of relationships i've been in, that i wanted to be in. that, well, i kinda screwed up. (as opposed to the ones i found i didn't want to be in, which i also screwed up, welcome to my self esteem). the lightning bolt has well and truly struck this time.

so expect either lots of grinning idiot posts, or whinging moaning crap for the next week or so, then back to normal. damn, forgot to post my nudi (sea slug, not whatever it was you were thinking) pic from last weekend. i've changed providers too, so i've gotta have a lookie see to see where i can host them now without having to think about it too much.

and thanks very little Triga for sending the jehovah's witless/austar salespeople around last night :-p

oh yeah, and after the last two weekends, i wanna say a big thankyou to the weather gods, and whoever invented bikinis! :-D may you find $20 in your pocket when you wash your shorts, may your car always make it to the service station when you think it's gonna run out of petrol, and may you always find what you've lost, _before_ you buy a replacement.

and before you think that is sexist, my sister (chief tart), the cook, and my boss are all far worse than me when it comes to checkin out the boys!

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