amphigoric macoronical pointlessness

damn. i thought i was busy before. it's like someone was watching behind the scenes and said: "hmmm, he hasn't caught up yet, but he's lookin more comfortable, lets see if he can handle third gear."

i'm trying to lean on my team so i'm not goin alone and melting down, which is added pressure for me to make sure they get what they need to do the job. protection from idiots, training, time and overtime.

damn, looks nice out there, what am i doin in here

very little happening in the world of the rat

the weekend was good though. i borrowed my brother in-law's mgb for my friends' wedding. they were going to use it to take the bride to the church, but her dad hasn't driven a manual for a while and didn't feel happy about driving it. so we just ended up using it for the wedding photos.

i told the photographer not to zoom in too close on the car as the paint job isn't too good, and neither was the last second rush job i did washing it.

i had fun driving it around for a few days. it doesn't like sydney traffic much though. unfortunately the temperature gauge is working fine, which gave me something to worry about. on the way to the wedding on saturday morning it reached 115 degrees as i crawled inch by inch out of northern sydney. once i finally got past the roadworks/gridlock thingy i put my foot down and it spluttered and complained heaps, so i gently coaxed it up to about 40 mph (old speedo, it's a 1963 car after all) and let it cool down, which it did quite quickly. poor thing needs thermo fans for stuffing around in traffic.

on saturday arvo, after the photos, it was my job to dump the mgb in the bride & groom's garage and bring their car to the motel they were staying at. the first time i hit the brakes i nearly headbutted the windscreen, then i remembered that in new cars you have to wear seatbelts. and then on sunday arvo, after driving home then over to my sister's to swap back to my car i nearly hit the stupid park brake looking for the clutch. whichever idiot put the parking brake next to where the clutch should be in a toyota camry should get a boot up the arse.

going around kiama bends was funny. a group 6 harley riders were blocking the right hand lane, and even slower traffic in the left. i found it amusing that not only did a 43 year old 4 cylinder corner better than a harley, but it was quicker in a straight line too. only i couldn't get around them, it was as bad as trying to overtake a mack truck. i got rained on a bit, but then the sun came out and i remember i hadn't put any sunblock on. oops. red nose again.

fortunately i didn't see any mr plods on the highway, partly because i was having so much fun, and partly because after 62mph=100kph i keep forgetting how much is 110 and 120, you can usually get away with 120kph in a 110kph zone, which now i use a calculator i find is about 75mph, oops. oh well, speedo is probably innaccurate anyway.

well i'm paying the price for a big weekend. i should have had an early night on friday, as saturday we went waterskiing at 7:30am, then headed off with a group of mates for a bucks party. but friday was a send off at work, so we had a few drinks and stayed up too late and had a great time.

there were only about 3 boats on the river, it was great. tried to do a beach start again and failed totally. my friend who owns the boat tried to go barefooting. ended up doing some really cool somersaults but no success at barefooting.

then there was canoeing, a mud fight, cricket, and a few bars before we ran out of steam. at the second last pub the buck was refused service, so we came home to our local where we didn't have a problem, except that the pub shut. but we were stuffed by that time (or maybe just me).

sunday i had the kids and went to the bbq at my mum's. some of the kids musta stayed up late saturday as well, by 3 pm 4 of us were asleep on chairs, sofas and on the floor. maybe on day i'll lead a healthier lifestyle....

sorry guys and gurls, i'm floating around with my head in the clouds.

got some cool stuff coming up though. most especially a ride day at eastern creek. i'm hanging out to find out how it compares to phillip island, when it's dry. however i already know it's a lot more of a "muscle" track. but it can still be fun. i'm hanging out for our next trip south though. words do not adequately describe the endless fast corners down there. fucking awesome only comes close...

Dirk, before you die, go there for a track day. you will never regret it. as long as you've got good road tyres it really won't matter what you ride, but you will be buzzing forever

disclaimer: you're a dude, so you probably don't need it, but just in case. "before you die" doesn't imply anything there's lotsa stuff i wanna do "before i die". but really, really, ride that fucking track. it's better than the telly.

i really can't describe it, i've been around oran park, amaroo, eastern creek, but phillip island is just something else.

by the way, have you read Valentino Rossi's book? want to? i'll send it up if you email me an addr

note to stupid self. when you can't sleep, don't sit up watching movies until 1:00am drinking beer. you will regret it at work the next morning...

well the 14th was a better day.

i fixed 2 things at work, a stupid wireless point to point connection was broken (at work now configuring an upgrade for it anyway) and even managed to get the stupid frikking windows mobile devices talking to our exchange (mail) server.

and, as i had one of those zen moments, i felt that i needed 3 things to go right today. turns out that interflora was the 3rd right thing :-) i think i've broken down a bit more resistance. we shall see...

forget friday the 13th, monday the 13th is my bugbear. sure, kooky things happen to me on friday the 13ths, but monday the 13ths are usually worse and/or wierder.

so i've pretty much spent the whole day trying to avoid doing anything that could screw up for leave me emotionally scarred.

until about 8:30am when i got to work.

actually that reminds me of a joke: the brain is a wonderful organ. it starts first thing when i wake up in the morning, and doesn't stop until i get to the office.

cue clueless rat at work. he forgot he came in on sunday for an upgrade to our mail server. (cause i have a 30 second attention span). boss rumbles in, "looks like everyone has a problem sending emails" he says. oh shit shit shit!!!

5 minutes of frantic action, then i can't find/reproduce the problem. damn, what's going on? casually ask the boss, who had the problem? oh, a girl who just came back from 3 months off, and him. her problem was a setting, his is more complex, but still, not "everyone". breathe in, breathe out.

this guy is a computer genius, and i don't mean that sarcastically, he really is. but putting the boss hat on makes him do kooky things. like freak out his poor (clueless) middle management (me).

at the end of the day i've survived, finished about 9:00pm, after yet another unsuccessful brush with windows-fucking-mobile devices. and a 5 min phone conversation with the object of my affections. well at least i have a more interesting hobby now than computers. they aren't much fun anyway after you turn 16, except for my playstation ;-) anyway, new hobby. i half have this girl's attention. i know she is a little interested. i'm interested, sometimes too interested, wheels spinning and brain frying. so my hobby i think is to see if i can somehow impress this bird enough to spend some more time with her.

could be fun. and by jingo, by crikey, by golly, by gum, i sure like having fun :-)

thus ends the ridiculous rant of the day.

just finished watching a movie called cheaper by the dozen. hell, i'd have 12 kids, no worries, maybe that's a cop out though, cause i'm too old now.

but i love kids and i loved this movie. (and my 2 are asleep finally after a big day)

i managed another beach start. un-fucking-believeable. skiied a bit, had a great day, feeling my age, totally stuffed. wanna retire and just do fun stuff.

friday arvo skiing. i love it. i haven't skiied during the week after work for 10 years.

and i managed to do my first beach start! fucking awesome. so then i tried a bit harder and had some big stacks. the wake was a bit big as the next guy was wakeboarding, so the boat was full of water.

early morning skiing tomorrow is off, but going out at about lunch time. gotta lovve it.

soccer tonight. played like shit. first game for me since before christmas. so i was feeling my age. but by some fluke we won. so we're in the semis.

a few beers afterwards at the local. spinning shit and what d'ya know i've managed to talk myself into a ski tomorrow after work with some of the soccer lads. so i'm as happy as a pig in shit. if i can organise one other person as an observer, then i can go at sparrow fart on saturday morning as well. woohoo!

anyway back to the more urbane, and away from the soppy stuff which only embarrasses me the day after when i read it sober.

on my way up to the big smoke on the weekend i came across a strange bunch. it was a swarm of italian motorscooters heading into the city. it looked like they'd been on a run somewhere. lambrettas, vespas and some other ones i couldn't work out. they were buzzing like a swarm of angry wasps, having a great time. and wobbling all over the place too.

we had a malaguti yesterday a few years ago as a pit bike. it was the wonkiest looking thing we'd ever seen. also we had to replace the wiring loom and bodge up the ignition part of the loom with electrical tape as some loser had put in the battery back to front and burned out some of it.

it was heaps of fun. despite hating being pillion on any motorcycle, me and my brother rode the thing all round the place. usually with the driver's feet around the headlight, with spare wheel and tyre underneath, and the pillion facing the wrong way holding the other wheel and tyre, on our way to the tyre changing garage. rather than walk 25 metres we'd grab the pit bike :-) i think we put over 200 km's on it on the one weekend at eastern creek, without driving out of the entrance once. top speed was about 95 kph, but it was a bit wobbly so we didn't do that very often. doing wheelstands on it was more fun.

the little box at the rear, which looks like it should hold a spare wheel, wouldn't quite fit a pizza. and unfortunately the ducati guys beat us in the wonkiest looking scooter stakes, with some strange cagiva thingy.

well, i'm far from being home and hosed. and NO Hooch, that's nothing to do with watersports! it's a saying

i heard a funny advert on the way to wogalong (wollongong) from sydney this morning to attend a course. it was some kind of ad for dentistry. they had a guy reading it with the right (ocker aussie) accent saying that if you had the kind of gap between your front teeth that meant you could "eat an apple through a tennis racket" then after their u-beaut implant stuff, (i'm adlibbing now, can't remember exactly) then afterwards you'd be a "real hit with the shielas" and be "smiling like a shot fox". well maybe it was geographical, you had to be there.

anyways. i've realised the mistakes i've made with my past few relationships. i've gone after girls that i was only attracted to. pretty just isn't enough. sure, i'm carrying baggage, but so are they, but the main problem is that if i don't get the "thunderbolt", i'm doomed to failure.

anyway, like i said, i tried going out with girls that i was attracted to. they were pretty and fun to be with. i liked them and i liked being with them. but i can't just have a casual relationship and let it build. it just doesn't work for me. i've gotta be hit with lightning. then i've also gotta do the right stuff (usually by fluke) and then she's gotta feel the same (even more of a fluke) and even after that i can still screw up (cue my marriage).

anyway. i wish i'd known that sooner. i thought i'd never get that feeling again. so i went out with a few cute girls (and to be perfectly honest, they were really nice. friendly, good mum's, no more baggage than me, patient and adaptable). and because i wasn't smitten i'd say i wanted to keep it casual and calm, see what builds. but it didn't get better, and they'd get upset, then i'd be upset for making them upset, then i'd run away.

this lady i'm interested in now is pretty, attractive. well, drop dead gorgeous. i can't say just like the other ladies, because i've learned it's best not to compare. they were all beautiful in their own special way. but i am totally smitten with this girl. it's like how i felt about the girl i married once, and a girl once before that. only it's new again, and bigger and bettter. hit me with a brick or give me a shot of sambucca, i dunno. maybe it's chemical, but i can't resist it. and after that, after the lighting strikes, no other girl interests me even remotely. i'm sure that's against the "blokes code" or something, (rule #4, thou shalt admire the pretty chicks). sure i can admire them, but i'm completely uninterested. it's just like walking through an art gallery.

an ex-girlfriend once reckoned i'd pick up heaps by working on a dive boat. well that worked for my predecessor, but not for me. when it comes to attracting the ladies, i "speak french like a spanish cow". (a saying i heard today that i had to repeat), clueless doesn't even begin to describe it.

so i'm totally attracted to her, and trying not to blow my cover and be a total dweeb, and i'm probably failing miserably. sometimes i think the only thing in our favour is that girls like us making fools of ourselves. well i'm certainly good at that. i'm realistic though, she may change her mind, may still be in two minds, may not even be interested. hell, girlies operate on a whole other instruction set. i have no idea what's going on. but if it doesn't work out at least i know that the lightning bolt ain't broke. if it can still hit me, then maybe i'm not destined to be single. and if it doesn't ever again, i'm not settling for second best. i just end up hurting people and feeling like shit.

despite that i like being single (finally) and i like living in my own house. when the lightning bolt hits, and you meet that special lady, that's a whole other rush. i wouldna believed it, but its better than perfect lefts at my favourite surf spot, better than phillip island on our racebike, and even better than carving perfect arcs water skiing. i'd give up everything for that, but even better, i'm trying to see if i can keep it all, bring her skiing, and still have it all.

no details, but i'm a grinning idiot :-)

i'm nearly calm again. nearly relaxed.

well apart from my brain going round and round in circles at a million miles an hour, going nowhere, anytime i start to think about going on a date tomorrow night.

i'm trying to tell myself that it's ok, i know i can be really happy living on my own and being single. i'm content happy ect ect... and i know the last few relationships i was in, i really didn't want to be in after i'd been in them only a short time. i'll just test the waters, and if there's nothing there, no problem.

so why the hell am i doing this? the last few times i've ended a relationship i tell myself that's the last time. i can just have lots of cold showers.

this does feel different though. like a couple of relationships i've been in, that i wanted to be in. that, well, i kinda screwed up. (as opposed to the ones i found i didn't want to be in, which i also screwed up, welcome to my self esteem). the lightning bolt has well and truly struck this time.

so expect either lots of grinning idiot posts, or whinging moaning crap for the next week or so, then back to normal. damn, forgot to post my nudi (sea slug, not whatever it was you were thinking) pic from last weekend. i've changed providers too, so i've gotta have a lookie see to see where i can host them now without having to think about it too much.

and thanks very little Triga for sending the jehovah's witless/austar salespeople around last night :-p

oh yeah, and after the last two weekends, i wanna say a big thankyou to the weather gods, and whoever invented bikinis! :-D may you find $20 in your pocket when you wash your shorts, may your car always make it to the service station when you think it's gonna run out of petrol, and may you always find what you've lost, _before_ you buy a replacement.

and before you think that is sexist, my sister (chief tart), the cook, and my boss are all far worse than me when it comes to checkin out the boys!