Friday, December 09, 2005

yay friday! yay! users are lusers! yay!

(hyperbole shamelessly copied from tssh, although of course they are really being sincere, encouraging, and not the slightest bit scarey...)

well it's not the lusers that are annoying me today. it's a stupid software company. that we have bought a large, ungainly and expensive document management package from.

cue rat talking to company helpdesk:

rat: we noticed that the users documents aren't being backed up from their shared drives, the archive bit isn't being set on the file. (note: any file created or modified in winblows, has the archive bit set (box ticked). it stays set until the file is backed up and the backup software un-sets it (removes the tick))

helpdesk bunny: yeah our software doesn't set the archive bit. can't do it.

rat: huh! how can i set it?

hb: you can't. we suggest you do a full backup (and tells me, after some prompting, where on their website i can send a request for enhancement, otherwise known as fix the fucking bug)

rat: ok thanks for your time.
hangs up (mumble mumble, choice expletives about stupid fucking software companies with no fucking clue)

we had one contractor called "shedsoft", i can't find any references to it on the web, so this can be it. well let me say i've been (unsuccessfully) trying to work out a way to hack his software (actually it's more like a virus, and like most viruses, it's badly written and hard to get rid of) so that when the user clicks "help" then "about" it says "shitsoft" instead.

so now i've gotta screw up our already complex backup system, and add a clunky fudge to fully backup their directories each night. only rather than individually select about 500 subdirectories on different departmental drives, i'm gonna have to just add a few extra gigabytes to our backups each night that don't need to be there.

ok, summary. geeky rant that is particularly annoying to me about stupid software companies with no clue. which reminds me of a joke:

At a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the
participants were given an awkward question to answer:

"If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your
team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control
software, how many of you would disembark immediately?"

Among the ensuing forest of raised hands only one man sat
motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he
would be quite content to stay aboard. With his team's software,
he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the
runway, let alone takeoff.

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