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Sunday, August 14, 2005

how soppy am i?

there's a movie on. the sunday special. designed to keep drunken idiots like me watchin the telly and ads when we should be sleeping before work on monday.

sweet home alabama.

i know nothing about northern american culture. or do you say the culture of the people of the united states? their country doesn't have an easy name. it's not like saying australian culture, or austrian culture, and you can't say american culture, as the continent of america holds a lot of countries that aren't the united states. they should pick a name for themselves and be done with it. most countries are made up of states, they can call themselves the yankees or something.

anyway. it's a nice, feelgood movie. they play some music, and all the characters (apart from the unhappy mother-in-law to be) end up happy.

i liked a line from con-air. when they are cruising along in a plane they have hijacked, listening to the song "sweet home alabama". from Wikipedia:

'Garland Greene, defined irony as "a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash".'

thus ends my drivel for the night...

oh no it doesn't. just remembered another thingy. sitting at the club, having a few drinks, spinning drivel with the others, and we were talking about two of my friends who were present, who'd just got married. someone remarked how the guy was married now, which was why he was a bit skint (broke), and welcome to the club. one of the other lads chirped up and looked at one of the other blokes who was present with his girlfriend, and said not like you pair, and then said oh, but you do know, you've done it three times. the guy has been married 3 times before.

ok, it's a geographical joke, you had to be there. we all thought it was hell funny at the time. and so did the guy.

don't reckon i could get married again. i kinda empathised with the, ah, dichotomy, or something like that, that the girl was feeling in the movie. that isn't the right word, it'll come to me, in a week or so.

that day, the day of my wedding, was, all at the same time, the most stressful, happy, painful, beautiful day of my life. guys don't talk to other guys about their feelings a lot. but i've come to relax about it a bit. from little snippets of information, we release our feelings a little bit. one dude in a movie "three men and a baby" let something out that helped, he said he was still in love with the first girl who punched him. probably because she was frustrated with him or something.

i'm finally beginning to learn what a fuzzy place the world is. it's ok to still be hung-up over your first wife. she's not the same girl now, so you can fondly remember her, and casually talk with her now about the kids because she's not the same girl.

i've had a few relationships since then, but it's not the same. had a great argument with a mate of mine. he told me that the girl he was with was not a long term relationship. they've now been together 15 years and have 2 kids. i'm very emotional. if you've ever read the book "the godfather" you'll recognise the bit where one of the characters travels to greece or italy or sicily or somewhere in the mediterannean, and gets hit by the "thunderbolt". my marriage was like that. but unfortunately that was about all it had going for it.

my wife was as headstrong and difficult as me, but we timed it badly. at first i was a headstrong pain in the arse with no clue, finally she got the shits and the tide turned completely the other way. there was no middle ground. but the thunderbolt. i have never before or since felt that way about a girl. and i find that very annoying and painful.

my last relationship was too demanding. when i couldn't be there or turn up, i felt guilty, when i said the wrong thing (cause i am a clumsy idiot and that happens a lot) i felt worse. i retreated and ran away.

this relationship is a lot more relaxed. i'm trying to keep it like that. but i still feel guilty for wanting to be by myself occasionally.

but no thunderbolt. do i only get one shot? have i screwed up my one chance?

sorry, my bad, beer and soppy movies is a bad combination.

i've bought myself a third share in our racebike. i've found that scaring the shit out of myself, and playing soccer until i can hardly move, are great ways to exorcise my personal daemons.

next step for the racebike is a coupla days at phillip island. next step for soccer is the semi finals. only 1 game a week now. time to go hard. real hard. slick tyres and speed, running hard, no fear. play hard, run hard, go for broke. that'll keep the demons at bay for awhile anyways...

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