amphigoric macoronical pointlessness

i love being a dad.

even if i'm not a real dad. i just love just being there for them. giving them a hug goodnight, then taking them skiing the next day. taking them surfing, for a bbq at me mum's, or just hanging around here watching vids.

maybe i am still rich. or maybe just rich again. cause i was wondering the other day what i'd really love for my birthday, and i have no fucking idea. cause i have it all.

i've only felt like this once before. when i was married. ok, now i don't have what i did then. but i can be a realist. i'm having fun, and enjoying their company. life is good. there's a shitload of people in the world having a really bad time right now. so i think it'd be pretty self centered of me not to be enjoying the hell out of myself right now while i can.

eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet.

next month is a big month. my nephew's birthday, my son's birthday, my dad's birthday and apparently my son's girlfriend's birthday as well.

a mate of mine is spending this winter in antarctica this year and he got bored and sent out one of those stupid "all about me" emails. like what's your middle name, what are you reading, what music do you like etc...

and if you could turn back time, who would you talk to.

i'd be be talking to my neice. she wasn't yet 3 when some, when some, i can't even say it. a motor vehicle accident. she'd be ten now.

rewind and start again. if i could have anything, absolutely anything, it'd be safer roads and cars. sure, this country is lovely and safe compared to others, but it still cuts me to the quick. doesn't it (you know who you are and you know what i mean) dunno how many kids die unnecessarily every year in third world countries. my kids have their life and their health. and i figure that's an important thing. is a kids life worth a case of beer? two cases of beer? so i sponser a coupla kids in less well off countries.

it costs me about 2 cases of beer per month. and i reckon a kid is worth a lot more than that. if i get this job i'll add another one i reckon. i mean, you've gotta have goals and priorities and stuff. i might as well have some that mean something to me.

i hope this shit all makes sense tomorrow when i'm sober.

dya know, i think 3rd grade is harder than reserve grade.

if a team is strong enough to have 2 teams, then all the good players end up in 1st grade, and i end up in second grade. but if you don't have enough players to form 2 grades, then you get stuffed into 3rd grade.

our team has a 1st grade striker, our sweeper can play anywhere on the field in first grade. a coupla guys are actually able to play second grade, and the rest of us. and a lot of other teams are like that. we played this team today that were full of fit young buggers. this rotten little bastard i had to mark was about 20 years younger than me, and the first person to outrun me in 2nd or 3rd grade ever. in 2nd grade i don't get outsprinted, well not by a significant amount anyway. but this little prick had hit a gear that my gearbox doesn't even have. or maybe nitrous or something.

i ended up just standing on top of him. he couldn't run through me, had to run around me, gave me an extra part of a second to start running. fortunately they subbed him off and gave me someone slower.

so we subbed off and on, i mostly played in the backs. but that's all good. we had some fun. yelled at each other. the ref yelled at us. and afterwards we had beer. it doesn't get any better than that.

finally friday

yet another alliteration attempt. maybe i should avoid headings anyway. they are as useless as capitals.

late to finish this arvo. my ex boss is back at work contracting for us until he starts his new job. he rang up today while delivering some network equipment to a remote location to tell me that the server there had shit itself. goody goody gumdrops.

i was really looking forward to a few 5:00 beers this arvo. but instead i ended up leaving work at around 7:30.

also while he was out and about in my car, we had a hailstorm go through. hailstones as big as golfballs, and bigger. so there's dings all over the car. damn. i hate doing paperwork. but maybe if it's bad enough they'll write it off and i can have a new crummydoor instead. or a subaru if i make a big enough pest of myself :-)

(fat chance)

anyway the weekend is here. time to veg out in front of the telly and sleep in tomorrow before getting up and playing wog ball.

hope yers all have a relaxin weekend and stuff. i'm looking forward to some soccer and a ski!

another toxic thursday...

we've got this scheme at work for dealing with old computers. we budget for replacing so many computers each year. we use a special selection process for replacing them as well. which is partly to do with how old they are, how much they've been mucking up, and if i've walked past a particular section of people at work and though "shit, look at the crap they've got to deal with, they're next".

it's a very exact science. if i just remember to add the square root of your maiden aunt's birthday into the equation and don't explain it to anyone anyway.

the old computers we wipe, scrub, and install a fresh operating system on. then ship off to auction. as we've got so much shit happening, and we're a few staff members down, retiring old computers is not a priority. so for the last auction we busted our humps, wiped a bunch of them (well mostly one lady did it, she really dug in and made a big effort) then i spent a day loading them into a van and trailer (a few trips) to flog them off. at the end of the day we averaged about $30 for each computer. in time, and effort, and because our storage is all gone we're gonna be paying for storage from now on, it's actually costing us money to remove this shit. if you take about an hour to stuff around, remove the machine from storage, wipe it, load an operating system and then store it again, you're spending more than $30 in labour. and i've got a lot more important things i'd rather they were doing. a lot more interesting too.

i can see it in their faces. we've been short staffed for too long. they're struggling and getting the shits. i'd rather they were doing interesting jobs and having the time to do them properly. it's very fucking frustrating.

so the boss came across a few ideas for organisations that will come and take them from us, no cost, and i also got the lady who spent so much time getting rid of the last lot to look into it as well. i figured she'd be fairly motivated into easier ways of getting rid of them. plus we instantly remove the whole storage problem, triple handling of machines by having to store them, wipe and install again, then store again, then get out of storage for auction.

i came across the coolest solution. mission australia in wollongong has a work for the dole program. you donate computers to them. they'll wipe them. (only we'll wipe them first as well, it's quick and i'm paranoid), check them for faults, install an operating system, then hand them onto whoever asks for them. i figure even though we're giving them away for free we're saving money. the cost of storing them, installing an operating system, and transporting them is more than we're getting for them at auction. and to be fair, they are really worth nothing. we've already depreciated them to zero anyway. 4-5-6 year old computers are worth nothing. if these people have a market of people who want them, good on them.

and we can tell the local organisations about them, and they can ask for computers from them. schools, charities, whatever. and it's all someone elses problem. i don't even have time for the fucking logistics of this shit. the boss is busting my arse about a lot more important shit than this. i want it to go away!

so i figure the end justifies the means. i bust my hump. i ring around, write up some pretty stuff to present the the boss so he can present it to his boss. i'm as happy as a cheshire cat. it's all logical. no sensible human being can fail to be swayed by the cost cutting logic and general goodwill of supporting the work for the dole scheme, (and some people might actually get some useful skills out of it), plus some people might actually get some computers that will be of some use to them.

the boss comes back. he says "step into my office". have i mentioned how much i hate fucking thursdays?

the big boss has completely failed to see the big picture. maybe i should have presented it myself. he says first we must offer them to an external part of our organisation that we don't usually support. sure we still don't have to support them, but we have to set them up with operating systems, and then store the mother-fucking pieces of shit while we wait for them to tell us how many they need and pick them up. and then we have to offer them to the local schools, and wait for 3 weeks for them to get back to us. then we can offer them to mission aust.

hello!! i spit my fucking dummy. this is worse than our current situation. at the moment we are only wasting so much time, and getting money back, and if we work hard and waste some time, we can get rid of them each month. this way i'm storing them, waiting for them to get back to me for weeks and weeks. and if the schools want these old computers they can have them from mission australia. they don't have to have them from us. so i sulk a bit, calm down. and tell the boss i've finished my rant.

with hindsight i think he listened. we're still held up a bit, but after i got an assurance that local schools and organisations will get the first preference for any computers we donate, he said he'd run it past the big boss and try to short circuit the second part where we wait for the schools to get back to us. he'll tell him that the schools can get them straight from mission aust, that way we don't have to wait or store them. and the external groups that can have computers from us, well we've got computers going all the time, we don't have to wait on them either. so i'm waiting with baited breath. nowhere near as confident as i was this morning though, for tomorrow morning.

so maybe i can still get the damned ball rolling after all and then my staff will lose the very grumpy fucking looks they got this afternoon. maybe it's a leadership fuckup. i built them up, told them what a cool idea it was and how much time it'd save them, and then someone slid into us at the knees and slide tackled us from the side. but things have been so hard, so fucking hard. any good news i could find i had to give them.

so you could say that today was potentially a wasted day. i didn't accomplish a lot, but i worked hard at it. story of my life. but if i get the nod. then it could all be worth it. and if i don't, well i already get the impression my new keen staff member is jacking up and getting the shits with the pressure. and he's right. you can do this, or this or this, but not all 3 all at once. and to be honest the others are the same. i've got to get some wins. these guys have put in the hard yards, it's time for the pressure to drop a bit. another department at my work lost just about every useful staff member. they all resigned. they're working on contract for a bit until they are replaced. but that would be a very very ugly situation

and after my rant, my boss listened and came to the party. he's injected his special brand of bullshit that he saves for when he really needs it, to send back up to the big boss. i don't mean he lies, but he explains it in a way that i can only do by browbeating the living shit out of someone, one on one. with his support (he supported me before but didn't add his spin. he had enough on his plate already) i have a much better chance of getting my own way, and pleasing everyone. but he'll have his pound of flesh. next year we replace twice as many computers as this year, and the project i have to make this smoother and faster, i now have to bring off in a stunning display of class, ass, and bullshit.

in other news. soccer tonight. 4-4 draw. ran my guts out. i'm not fit yet. nowhere near. i think on the weekend i'm gonna sticky plaster my right big toenail down, as it started to float a bit towards the end of the game and really fucking hurt. we were up 1-0 at half time. playing strong. 5 mins into the second half we're 3-1 down. one of our backs we swap with the keeper, who goes out and scores 2 goals, along with 2 by one of our strikers. fucking lovely goals as well. a bullshit penalty against us (in fairness, the referee is blind in one eye, really really, pity he can't see out of the other fucking one though) and it's 4-4. but at least it's fair. he pulled up some bullshit calls both ways, so you just grin and keep running. at least our lads don't panic anyway. 3-1 down and we're still playing the same, no-one is yelling or being annoying. when we are 4-3 up the opposition are going off their nuts. gees, get a fucking grip.

45 mins later we're all havin a few beers. who gives a shit :-)

(what a big sulk i've had today....)

i hate doin job applications.

unless you "billy big-note" yourself, you get nowhere. it's all I I I. but i'm part of a team. and there's no I. it's all Us. if you don't have the respect of your team, you accomplish nothing, and being the big I does not gain respect.

i'm not even sure i want the job. but i don't like the alternatives though. so i'm going for it.

damn. i hate change...

forgive and forget not

sorry Gianna i've stolen your title. if that annoys you i'll change it to "let it be" or something like that

i am just mother-fucking-amazed. after my regular troll through the bloggers i find interesting, Gianna posted an ANZAC day article with reference to some moron who seems to think that men just like war and war is fun?! Gianna of course has a brain and picks the shit out of him. i may only have half a brain, but i was sickened by this fool who seems to think that because some other fuckwits of the era thought that war was a "great thing"tm, then maybe war wasn't suck a bad thing after all.

i'm afraid that my usual adjectives, expletives and invectives do not carry the bile creating urge i have to vomit on this person. you stupid, mother fucking, son of a donkey fucking moron, brain dead crunt. ANZAC day. remember the cost cunt. lest we forget. let us not send our children to fight someone else's children for some idiotic cause. and even if it's worth it. even if you really had to defend your country against the evil enemy, never, ever think that war is a good thing.

don't send my kids. they are young and dumb. send me. enlistment should start at 35 and stop at 65. it's not hard. that'll slow down the old pricks who think it's suck a good thing.

just entering into war is a failure. there are no winners, just those who lose less than others. in one respect we were winners. the turks lost about double the amount of young men that the allies did, whilst defending their homeland. (that was sarcasm by the way, i'd hate to think that anyone thought that i thought it was a wonderful thing we killed so many people...) the only way we were winners, was that by some strange twist of fate, the turkish people have adopted us as friends, and i hope that people in australia think the same, cause we've certainly got a bunch of rascist bastards as well.

i've been to turkey, did the tour to anzac cove. a little bloke (tour guide) who asked us to call him Uncle Ali told us the turkish side of the story. there wasn't a dry eye amongst us under the olive tree (i think it was an olive tree) when he told us their story. i couldn't speak for about 30 mins without choking up.

a couple of memories from that day will haunt me forever. Uncle Ali telling us about his grandfather who never came home, him and his dad walking all over the Gelibolu (or however you spell it) peninsula picking up bullets and shrapnel, some fantastic stories of humanity, us all trying not to cry out loud under the tree, and a Canadian girl walking in the water at the place where we landed. the canadians had some people there as well as us. mostly only aussies on the tour though, plus this canadian girl. no kiwis this time. we'd both had the same idea. i couldn't be here, at this place, without walking in the water. a bit illogical i spose, but you get that.

the kiwis have a huge monument. they were the only ones to take the ground that could have won the conflict, only to have the british move them back so the british could lose the same spot.

don't get me wrong. if we'd have won, we'd have taken someone elses country from them for another country. i'm not glad there was a war, and i'm not glad that so many lives were lost. but i see some good from such uglieness. the turkish people have a lovely country, and it is their own, they fought for it, and they kept it, and it's a beautiful place.

uncle Ali asked us to get our kids, friends, whoever, who came to visit, to call him uncle Ali as well. he was the friendliest dude. as were all the turks i had any dealings with. i've been to a few countries, and it still amazes me that the most friendly people in the world, and they love aussies, were those who we tried to invade. in the paper today they reckon there isn't another country in the world that remembers past conflict the way we and the turks do. pity we left the scene this year leaving so much rubbish behind. it's just embarrassing.

there was a message, in large letters, on a huge sandstone monument near the beach on the peninsula. to this day i can't read it without choking up. it's printed on the back of the t-shirt i bought back with me.

"Those heroes that shed their blood
and lost their lives...
you are now lying in soil of a friendly country.
there is no difference between the johnnies
and the mehmets to us where they lie side by side
here in this country of ours...
you, the mothers,
who sent their sons from far away countries
wipe away your tears.
your sons are now lying in our bosom
and are in peace.
after having lost their lives on this land they
have become our sons as well."

we've shed the blood. we have evolved. let us not repeat our painful bloody mistakes. there is no place in this modern world for invading other countries and imposing your will on them. and should you do so, you have no right to claim to be civilised. you are merely articulate barbarians...

what a weekend.

thursday night i feverishly packed, ironed some shirts, and headed down to be on the boat for the weekend. via the pub for a case of beer.

we loaded up the customers, complete with camera equipment. although there were only 11 competitors, they had as much gear as a full boatload would have had.

friday morning it was up and at them. all the divers getting in for each and every dive, including night dives which are sometimes not as popular, as often people prefer to have a bit of a drink instead.

the viz wasn't the greatest though. for a while it looked as though they might even take out the wide angle section as it was proving to be impossible to shoot wide angle. friday night we offloaded our first rolls of film to be processed, so they could be picked up the next morning. this way the competitors get an idea of what to concentrate on for the next 4 dives. plus we picked up a few more divers, not competitors though, they were just coming along for the ride. we smuggled on one of the competitor's husband. she was suitably surprised.

on saturday morning we picked up the processed film, and started clocking up some miles looking for clear water. we ended up outside the bay and went south for a dive. i managed to sneak in for a dive, then beat them back to the boat to help get people back on board. the viz was a little better, but still not very good. then we got a message that the water to the north was clear. there was a little swell so we bounced our way up there and were rewarded for taking the trek. unfortunately i'd done my dive for the day and was flat out for the rest of the day so i didn't get to go in again myself.

we did a dive on the wreck that's up there, then over at another site called the "shark gutters". no sharks though, but it's always a great dive, especially when the viz is bad. then we bounced our way back down to the bay to drop off the rest of the film. no night dive that night, everyone kicked back and relaxed instead, although i think some of the non-competitors might have gone for a dive. it's a few days ago now and my brain is mush from the long weekend and not enough midday naps.

Sunday morning is usually a serious time, as the competitors pick their best slides to enter for judging. However, there was a problem with the film processing last night. The guy who has been doing a fantastic job processing our film for the last 8 years of photo competitions, had a power failure part way through processing some of the films. some competitors are unaffected, and others, like the poor dude sitting opposite me, have lost entire rolls of film.

after seeing how hard these guys have been working the last few days to get prize winning shots, in very difficult conditions, and how hard the skippers and crew have been working, dragging them all over the place for subjects and trying to find clear water. it just leaves you gutted. i reckon the guy who did the processing feels even worse though, and it wasn’t even his fault. just one of those things.

this is probably our last, exclusively film only, photo competition. we also have a digital shootout. next year it will be combined, competing against each other. should be interesting. but at the moment, very serious...

on sunday, after a lot more relaxing diving, and the water getting clearer and clearer, 2 dives for me :-) the judges locked themselves away in the conference room for half the day to judge the entries. and that night after dinner we had the presentation on the top deck.

the quality of these slides was just fantastic. i couldn't resist saying (tongue in cheek) that they were all a bunch of whingers. after all their noise about the bad vis and they'd still produced such good shots. hehehe

as the judges went through the entries, they gave a bit of a critique on each one. it's always a very informative night. if i didn't have the memory of a goldfish i'd be a fantastic photographer by now after after all the tips, tricks and techniques i should have picked up.

monday and the pressure is all off, all the competitors seem happy with their results (and cool prizes). a coupla relaxed dives and it's time to get them all off and on their way home.

a coupla beers with the lads at the pub, but i'm too stuffed for a big night, i'm asleep by 9:00

some crappy pics... (some of them are around 300k, so don't click them if you're on dialup, unless you feel like waiting, just click on your back button if you want to come back here)

moorish idol, blotched hawkfish, boarfish, gorgonia and a wobbegong in a bit of a cave. he's about 2 metres long.

humpday

payday yay.

didn't achieve much though. some fool in one of the other departments gave one of my techs a hard time when he was installing a pc. my tech was less than impressed and told me so i passed some shit up the chain and it came back knocking on his door. he was less than impressed but passed it off as "meant without malice", just joking etc... and apologised. so add someone new to the list of people i've pissed off this week.

i'm over it, i don't give a shit.

my frikking new soccer boots though, i've decided, are the worst fucking boots i've ever bought. they are adidas something or others with blade type grip. the grip pattern is good. they stick like shit to a blanket. but for some reason the right boot is so damned uncomfortable. at first i thought the right one may have been too small, but that's not it. they aren't too short, just tight in the wrong places, especially my right big toe, and right at the top left of the laces where i often kick the ball.

not. happy. jan.

tomorrow i'm doing my oxygen provider and debrillator mc-zapper refresher training. they'll expect us to remember all sorts of stuff from our first aid course. har har har. hopefully it'll be quick cause i've got a mountain of shit to get through before i have friday off.

yes yes, i know, whinge, whinge, whine, whine.

daughter's first game of the season. they lost 3-1. but she had a smile on her face at the end of the game so she enjoyed herself.

she had a turn at being the goallie, which she liked but i think she plays better on the field. and the girls all ran around chasing the ball and kicking the ball, and kicking each other, and having a wonderful time.

next game is next tuesday. i should be there i reckon. on the boat from thursday night until monday afternoon. so no soccer or skiing for me this weekend. bleah!

monday - bleah!

but it's beer o'clock, time to go home...

sunday sunday

wait a sec. some idiot, reality, music show is on telly. i've gotta change channels before i puke...

dunno what the stupid show was, but it's gone now.

skiing today. so i manage to drag the grommets out of bed and get us organised. borrow dad's boat (the recovery boat) and meet my mate at the ramp. and we're still having problems. now it's the fucking clutch. but eventually (about an hour later) he's pulled his boat half to bits so he can adjust the linkage and we're off. 20 odd minutes later we get to the beach upriver of the jelly blubbers and he's decided it's too noisy, let's put the floor back in his boat. but we're still cooking.

a coupla goes skiing each, plus taking my son for a drag behind dad's boat on his surfboard, and we're spent. i've got a long way to go before i'm good enough for this ski, but i love it. a coupla good runs, and i'm shagged. i don't even know if i'll make it back to the beach. only just. and only just can stand up when i get there. oh well, aint dead yet!

working next weekend so no skiing for 2 weeks. counting the days....

wouldn't be dead for quids

i'm havin fun. a bit of a drinkie with some friends after work, actually rather a lot of drinkies. so i wasn't feeling so good for the game today. but shit happens.

brekkie was a banana, gatorade and redbull. went for a bike ride to try and work out some of the tight spots from thursday night, felt pretty bad after that. went for a bit of a warm up run at the game, felt pretty bad after that too. kicking the ball around, running with the guys, you guessed it, not doin so good.

maybe it's just the adrenalin. ok, we lost 3-2. played like shit at the start and payed for it. 2-0 at half time, but we finally started to play like a team. second half was a lot better and had a lot of fun. at the end of the game i'd managed to kick someone in the sprigs (bottom of the boot) and was a little sore, but i'm grinning like an idiot and having a great time. then a few drinkies at our sponsers pub. (of course we're sponsored by a pub!)

weather permitting, it's skiing tomorrow! yay! watching dvd's with the grommets, hanging out for a ski on my new toy :-)

age does not weary them, much....

had our second over 35's game tonight. i've been putting hot water in my boots and wearing them in an attempt to stretch them a bit, but i think that there's not enough leather in these crappy boots and too much synthetic shit for them to stretch properly.

my right big toenail's days are numbered.

it's a pity though, cause they've changed the tread pattern again. and they work even better than my old nike's did. they're just not as comfortable. of course the ground is still nice and soft, you can hear them biting the grass when you accelerate or turn hard. there is a frigging cricket pitch in the middle of our soccer pitch. in winter it turns into an ice skating rink, especially during training. you try and turn to kick the ball and end up sliding on your arse. and if it rains, it turns into a huge mud puddle.

tonight we only had 10 players, we should have 7 subs, but people have to work, are away with work, or turned up injured to drink beer and heckle us from the sideline :-) we went alright, but got done 3-1. it's all very civilised though. what happens on the field, stays on the field. and this mob we were playing are a good bunch. a few beers and tall stories were swapped afterwards

i went for a 50-50 ball with one of the opposition. i was always taught that you don't back off from a 50-50 ball, cause you'll hurt someone, or both of you. if you both hit the ball hard, it'll come out somewhere and you'll be fine. but one of us screwed up (probably me) and we clashed feet. ouch. gonna hurt tomorrow. oh well. casualty of having fun :-)

poets day termorrer. gotta go to the big smoke for a microsuck conference thingy, then back to work for a bit, then its the WEEKEND! yay!

another day, another, errr, something or other

turns out when you get a demo ski, they want it back, dammit. otherwise every cheap arse (eg me) wants them at a discount.

one of the guys i drink with at church on sundays put me onto this shop. (aside) church is a place you go to each sunday, eg: the rsl club for the raffle(/aside) he reckoned i'd be able to pick up this ski he recommended, after taking it for a demo, for $550. sounded good to me. only when i picked it up to try it, they said it was $699. i figured i'd sort it out later.

sunday was one of those interesting days. still having teething problems with the boat. but we took my dad's boat as well as the "recovery" vessel. also good for "in gear" jump starts. never a dull moment. the kids were happy, D got to have a couple of goes behind the boat on his surfboard. he'll be a wakeboarder i reckon. L tried kneeboarding, but it seems she doesn't like speed as much when she's in the water, as when she's driving the boat. we'll get there though.

i reckon we had a few people looking though when we launched my mate's boat, then my dad's boat, then towed them out and jump started them in the middle of the river. i mean, sure you see some stuff happening up the river when people break down, but at the start of the day?

so anyway, you can ski behind dad's boat, but it's hard yakka. me mate tried it, got up on the fourth time. i told him, don't bother with any speed signals, i'm just gonna go flat out. it won't be fast enough though. wrong sorta hull. and then one of his mates was there with his boat, just nearby. me mate asks if i can get a drag behind his boat cause i'm demo-ing a ski. no probls he says. fucking champion!

pops me outta the water like a, errr thing that pops up real easy. he sees i'm up, and he gives it a bit. hooo yeah! we hit a bit of calm water and it's time to find out what this thing turns like. me mate (who's observing) turns to the driver to say that i'm giving it a bit. the driver looks around to see me eat it big time. i figure i've only got one go at it, so i go hard. down the river a bit, back past the beach, up a bit, then back for the dropoff. a coupla stacks, and i'm fucking stuffed. it was gonna be my only ski of the weekend and my only chance to test out this baby. and i've got a bit to learn before i'm in it's class. i'm sold.

turns out this boat has a 4 blade prop, and a fairly mild 308 red motor. the last deep water start i had it about figured, my shoulders never even went under water. fucking awesome. he says was he going the right speed? i said maybe just a tad too fast, (i meant like 5 kph) so he goes a shitload slower. after a few speed up signals he goes "fuck it" and tries to drag my arms out of my sockets. fuck i love skiing. that prop digs you out quick, and is real responsive, but looks like the motor is good enough to rev a bit as well.

so anyway. you don't get to keep the demo ski. i do a bit of ringing around, finding out what this ski is worth. turned out my drinking mate was telling me about last years model, and i was trying this years model. the cheapest i could find it anywhere was $600. but the water skiers' warehouse at rockdale (i'll give 'em a bit of a plug, good people i reckon) gave me a pretty good deal on a cover and some gloves, and took off the price of taking it for a demo (i don't think the $600 mob had a demo ski) so i spent a bit less than i would have if i'd gone to north sydney.

so i'm stoked. i'm not much of a shopper. i'd rather buy what i want, and pay a good price, than spend forever shopping around. i'm happy with the price, didn't pay top dollar, and it's a great ski. so if you're a skier, and your looking for a ski, consider taking a HO burner for a burl from the water skiers' warehouse at rockdale. i'll be back there for a hire during the snow season :-D

s'funny innit? there's no way in the wide world i'd pay that much dough for a snowboard. i bought a cheapy, and then hired good ones. the same for snow skis. and i love the snow. but for a surfboard i paid about $600 for a good one, and it's served me well, and i have no qualms about a $700 waterski. it's a good thing though that i'm getting some extra dollars at the mo for bein the boss. cause i'm spending all of it and more...

woohoo it's the weekend

so i'm driving up to sydney and i'm checking out all the traffic coming the other way. then, when i'm yacking to a mate of mine on the phone, he reminds me it's school holidays. oh, that explains that.

i'm glad i'm not goin the other way. as usual, it's banked up all through the albion park bends.

managed to find the rockdale waterski warehouse and pick up the ski, then i looked at the map and tried to work out how to get to kellyville. i end up going up and down a few wrong streets, getting in a right turn lane and changing my mind and going straight (fucking tourist, go home! well that's what we say down here when out of towners do that). across the M5. (the M stands for Mostly stationary) then up the cumberland highway.

anyway, i manage to arrive at my friend's house, with only 1 u-bolt, two jumped gutters, and accidently went into 1 multi storey parking thingy by mistake. my mate told me i'd gone the wrong way, shoulda gone up number 1, over the bridge or under the tunnel, then gone along number 2. much quicker. oh well. shit happens.

so i'm up at sparrow's fart this morning, with this terrible dream about screaming kids. oh yeah, i'm at my mate's house. those are screaming kids. and i jump in the crapmobile to drive home for soccer.

cruising along listening to the radio. when someone speaks, i change the channel. i want music. fuck breakfast radio. anyway they're a lot better than the losers we get on the radio down here. but some channel (104.1? triple M maybe?) starts going on about the big pommy royal wedding. they interview some person with a pommy accent pretending to be one of those pricks who spend their whole lives worrying about what the royals get upto. he reckons the wedding is gonna be pretty low key, just charles and gorrilla parker, and some old bloke in out of the rain (the arch bishop of canterbury). there was more, and it was fucking funny, but i can't repeat it. cause i'm so good at screwing up jokes. take my word for it.

start traffic rant here

holiday traffic, gotta love it. some loser was driving along at about 75 in a 100 zone. so there's traffic banked up forever. he gets to the overtaking lane (which he has to move left into cause it's also an entry lane for a turnoff to some town). and every other moron stays in the right hand lane. and no-one overtakes. for starters the loser has sped up, and the other idiots haven't sped up. either drive on the limit, or get the fuck out of my way.

if you hold up this much traffic, then speed up at the only place where we can get past, don't be surprised when a couple of people go past you at about 140, including a b-double coal truck. i overtake zombie losers up the left (yes it's illegal, so is staying in the right lane if you're not overtaking) and then i jump in the right lane to get past the original losers.

which reminds me, on the way up on friday night, i catch up to another, very similar looking crapmobile to mine. he's doing about 85-90 in a 100 zone. i move up to overtake, he switches on his parkers to make me think he's got his brake lights on. whatever. i overtake, the stupid son of a bitch speeds up. i'm already commited to overtake, so i put my foot down, i end up doin about 130 to get past. he's one of those dickheads who've replaced their front park lights with coloured ones. and then he switches them off. loser.

is it so hard? if you're doing less than the limit, and we get somewhere where i can safely overtake, i'll overtake. no big deal. but if you speed up when i'm overtaking you, then you're just a prick. and if someone comes the other way, i'll run you off the road rather than have a head on with some innocent person coming the other way.

thus ends my traffic rant of the evening. i'm sure, being school holidays, i'll see lots more opportunities to have a bit of a sulk about idiots who think it's safe to slow down 20 kilometres per hour, and let a huge train of traffic build up behind them.

played soccer today. i'm stuffed now. getting slower every year dammit. we had a 2-2 draw and had a lot of fun. no drinkies at the pub with the boys tonight cause i've got the grommets. they're watchin a dvd in the loungeroom. we've got shark tales, van helsing and x-men 2.

skiing tomorrow, with this new demo ski :-D i am so looking forward to trying this baby out. it looks fast, and i'm sure that's important hehehehe

ow ow ow, ouch

first game of over 35's soccer for me tonight. my soccer boots are stuffed so i thought i'd better lash out and get some new ones. my last set of boots were a tad too big, so i got them a bit tighter. and now my right big toe has a purple toenail. next time i'm not getting synthetic fucking anything. it's gonna be leather or nuthin.

i have a cunning fucking plan however. on saturday i'm gonna fill the pricks up with boiling hot water before i put them on. hopefully that'll either soften them up or screw them completely. then i'll buy some gooder ones.

so anyway, we didn't play particularly good but everyone had fun. we lost 2-0. missed a few chances, but so did they. i did my usual amount of fuckups. subbed off about 500 times because i'm so unfit. and generally felt old and stuff.

after the game the other team didn't hang about much (it was their home ground) but almost all of our team stayed, bought them out of beer, and stayed around for another half hour at least cracking jokes and laughing in the dressing shed. we must be doing something right :-)

so i get home and apply some medication. first beer, then something for my ankle. dunno what i'm gonna do about my toenail. grin and bear it i spose.

tomorrow is gonna be a big day. after work i'm going to sydney. catching up with friends. then picking up a new water ski to try out, and getting back down here for soccer on saturday by 11:30. seein as we're in third grade this year we don't get as much sleep in when we're hungover on saturday mornings before the games. so i spose i'd better pack tonight so i've got all my stuff together.

assuming i'm not dead on sunday after the game, i'll be trying out this new ski to see if i wanna buy it. and then i'll be still broke but i'll be grinning from ear to ear...

ps: oh yes, and YOUR sister (you two know who i mean) is watching "those magnificent men in their flying machines" and cackling like a maniac

pps: and then i notice (cause i can't resist and i watch it too, yes i'm that old, get stuffed) that she's drinking port. where's my port glass and where's the port? so she digs out the port. it's called gfp. which stands for (i kid you not) good fucking port. it's printed on the bottle. smooth

some fish pics if you like.... (just hit your "back" button to get back here, or alternatively just sit there staring at the fishies)

a cuttlefish who wants me to bugger off.

a more friendly bleeker's blue devil fish

yet another hangover monday

would you believe it? it's frikken april already. at least if the water cools down maybe the stupid jelly blubbers in the river will die and go away. or something.

i've been indulging in retail therapy again. probably not the best course of action for someone trying to pay off their visa card so they can buy a boat and a bike and a house. oh well. the secret spot looked like a lot of fun to me. (make sure you move your mouse over the picture in the middle, it's groovy baby)

i just watched andy mapple's slalom dvd. i was hoping for more footage of slalom and less yacking. but i guess it'd be helpful for people who have a clue. oh well. one day maybe i'll have a clue. (if i hang out in a field of horny clues, smear myself with clue juice and do the clue dance)

he promotes ski paradise, a ski resort in acapulco. it looked quite inviting until i saw the price. nearly $2000 american for a week. oh well. might go to stoney park instead. still looks like a lot of fun. and it's not like i'm gonna be good enough to make a career out of pro skiing. damn, i wish i'd thought of that when i was younger though!

big chief stuff-a-lupagus

another cool weekend on the boat. note to self. don't drink more than two rums. i had a few beers, two vodkas (crew behaving badly) and then too many rums.

i managed to get a dive in on saturday. didn't see anything extra spectacular. but i enjoyed myself.

on the first dive on saturday, an older couple said they didn't know exactly what weight they would need, so they wanted to go in last. i explained it would be best if they went in first and did a buoyancy check, they wouldn't interfere with anyone, and wouldn't hold anyone up. obviously i was too subtle, they went in last and stuffed around for ages. fortunately they chewed up a bit of air as well. so even though they descended last, they came up with the rest because they were out of air.

the guy needed more weight. but he duck dived, and splashed around, going nowhere, then said he needed more weight. but it wasn't enough for me to pass it down to him. he had to get back out, re-do his weightbelt, then get back in. his missus was weighted correctly, but her inflater was malfunctioning. her vest was always full of air. "oh yes, we're going on an overseas trip, we thought we'd get our gear serviced just before that..." but she's got a hood on. we're trying to tell her what the problem is, and she can't hear a thing, she's just looking at us and saying that she can't go down.

is cluelessness contagious? i hope not. i have a certain inbuilt level of stupidity. and i don't wanna catch any more.

they did get better though. by the last dive they were nearly organised. but they didn't go on the last dive.

one dude completely failed to look at his computer. as i was checking everyone in after their second dive i asked him what his maximum depth and time underwater was. and he couldn't tell me. and he laughed. i thought that was a bit strange. so i told him to tell me as soon as he worked it out. later he collared the boss and told her and she put it on the sheet.

aside
we have check in, and check out procedures. these ensure that the divers are going in with enough air, and they are recorded as going in, and then that they came out of the water and got back on the boat (don't wanna get left behind) and also a kind of "big brother is watching" look too see if they've got their shit together.
/aside

later when i'm filling tanks i casually look at his computer. it says SOS, blinking off and on in big letters. so i tell the boss. he's not bent, not showing any signs of decompression illness, but he's bent his computer. hello. welcome to 24 hours without diving. the next day, 24 hours after the end of his second dive, the computer clears itself. however he did 3 dives on saturday. the stupid bastard went diving with a bent, non functional, computer. he stayed too long at depth on his second dive, and didn't do a mandatory decompression stop, then the fool did another dive.

he gets to do the last dive on sunday. the boss is a lot more lenient than me. i'd be saying "sorry dude" 24 hours from the end of your last dive. you are too stupid to dive. not only are you going to get bent one day, but some poor unsuspecting dive charter operator will probably get into trouble, all because you, errrr, well realistically, you are an unsafe diver.

first thing divers learn. the dive tables. you can stay so long at whatever depth. stay too long, you need to decompress. computers recalculate the tables minute by minute, taking into account the depths you go to, and how long you stay at each depth. so they are much more lenient, while still being safe. if you bend your computer, you are close to getting bent. is death so attractive to you that you risk like this?

i like motorsport, skiing, surfing, diving... all have risks. but you eliminate the obvious risks. wear a helmet. don't smoke around petrol, don't ski near objects in the water, don't land on your head when you fall off your surfboard. and when you're diving, you obey the fucking rules you idiot. so deep, for only so long. if you have to decompress, you stop at the depth for the time specified. by jingo. your computer does it all for you. if you were stupid enough to do that on the manual dive tables you wouldn't have been allowed in the water for the third dive. and maybe not the whole weekend.

and you are meant to be a trained diver. idiot.

don't get me wrong though. on the whole it was a great weekend. the "pro dive nelsons bay" group are fantastic. easy going, fun people. we often get people bending their computers, but i've never seen anyone go for another dive afterwards when they should be panicking and thinking about the possibility of a helicopter flight to the recompression chamber in sydney.

good senses of humour, well no wierder than mine anyway. enjoyed their diving. weren't painful and demanding, or asking to go to impossible places.

just pleasant nice people. with an idiot