Wednesday, March 09, 2005
i'm feeling kinda numb. emotionally detached. i'm so switched off i can't decide if that's better or worse than being frantic and insane.
soccer training was, er, well i went. our first grade captain coach was pissed off with the turnout to the weekend's trial game. so he defected to the team we played against, along with a coupla good players. so now we've only got enough players for one team, and we're playing third grade. sounds fine to me. i don't give a shit. just wanna go for a run on the weekend and sink a few beers afterwards.
our first grade striker, some good players, and some players who aren't quite as bad as me, are staying to play. so we should end up with a full team's worth. or not. whatever.
i probably should go for a surf tomorrow after work. apart from sticking my fingers in the light socket, it's probably the only thing that will wake me up out of this shit. i go from extreme to extreme i think. from having a mad crush this morning, spinning my wheels, brain completely short circuited. to now where i've convinced myself i'm managed to screw it all up again, and i'm just feeling numb.
i'm sure it'll all pass. i haven't done anything any more stupid than i've done previously. tomorrow i'll be polarised either in complete denial, insanely jealous, have a complete crush still, or some other extreme.
oh well. ain't dead yet :-)