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Sunday, March 20, 2005

back to business


my first weekend back on the boat for about 6 weeks. it felt like forever. i think i need to be retrained.

nothing too eventful on friday night. vacuumed, washed some stuff, loaded the customers on the boat, didn't fall overboard. the last is always a good point.

the customers had obviously had a big week as well. after driving 4-6 hours to get here, then a few drinkies, they crashed not too long after 12:00. well i'm not sure. seeing as the boss was still up, and i have to be up at 7:00am (yeah yeah Dirk, it's a sleep in for you), anyway, seeing as the boss was still up, and i'll be the late bunny on saturyday night. i headed for the sack.

saturday wasn't particularly amazing. southerly swell, southerly winds. we can't go anywhere but on the south side of the bay. our group is a little less than perfectly coordinated. but we iron out the boring bits, and everyone seems to be having fun. hindsight though, teaches me that a snorkeller who has never worn a wetsuit before, and although cute, isn't the brightest sock in the sock drawer, and should not wear a weight belt.

so, she goes for a snorkel, and misjudges the swell and ends up on the rocks on an island where you're not allowed, and we send her boyfriend to rescue her, who also ends up on the island...

i had a good dive though. just an exploratory dive on an area of the bay where the navy let off a few explosives in the 70's. there's a series of holes (when viewed from above) in the sea grass. the holes are over 10 metres in diameter, and according to a few surveys, it's going to be over 140 years before the grasses reclaim the lost area. anchor damage they recover from quite quickly, as the root system is usually intact, but it's not like cooch grass, it's not very invasive. the cook uncovers an angel shark in the silt/sand. i scare the shit out of myself about 5 times by annoying little rays who are dug in, in the sand. cookie annoys our angel shark, but nothing bad happens, later she's checking out something else, and is about 1 foot from kicking another angel shark buried in the sand behind her.

sitting on the back deck later and our snorkeller is going for another swim, this time in just her bikini. as fate would have it, i'm sitting on the rail at the top of the steps to the back deck. where i spend most of my weekends. and she won't get in, she's just standing there, flaunting. what can i do? well i'm not the most forward person i know. so i don't suggest a few ideas i have, but i sit back and enjoy the view. we talk about the area, diving, snorkelling and stuff like that. her boyfriend is underwater, it goes against the code to even think of attemping anything. but the view is nice. :-)

later i finally get a chance to watch my grafton bridge to bridge race dvd. frikken awesome. i wanna play that game. trying to work out who i know will buy a ski hull, a big fat blown motor, and drag me and one of my stupid mates 105 kilometres up and down the clarence river in under 40 mins.

saturday night i don't do the night dive. the cook does and has a fun time. my day has been too big, and i haven't had my nap. but i kinda get my second wind, the next thing i know it's 12:00 and the boss is asleep, and there's customers everywhere. damn. go to sleep dudes! but the idiot factor kicked in, and me and the cook started giving them russian cocaine. you get a slice of orange, you plonk one side of it on perculator coffee, the other side on sugar, then you scull a shot of vodka, then you eat the orange. the vodka gets you pissed, the coffee keeps you awake, and i forget the other stuff.

anyway, at 1:30 they all give up and go to sleep. dream about skiing and going very fast. it must be some kind of zen. i never dream about stuff i want to do. it's usually wierd shit, or dreams of loss, or some other rubbish that gets my shrink rubbing her hands together. i won't digress, it's boring.

anyway, the idea of skiing at over 200kph has be rubbing my hands. that's gotta be a rush. the fastest i've ever skiied isn't much over 100kph, and on the shitty ski i was on, a whole bunch of scarey. and occasionally, a big bouncing dramatic stack. who can i convince to buy a ski boat like that? my mate's new ski boat is an ex bridge to bridge race boat. maybe he can be conned into jumping a few levels and going sick. now to find another stupid skier :-) i've got a couple in mind hehehehe

sunday the weather is much nicer. mostly overcast but a couple of nice shiny sunny moments. the divers have a few nice dives, including an exploratory dive on a site that the cook and myself found by accident once. i love this site. i've only ever dived it when the viz is good, and i feel narked the whole time. it's only at about 24 metres, but it's just such an open, big, cool area of fun stuff, blows me out.

we press gang one of the customers into serving lunch, as myself and the cook are busy putting the food on the plates, and bosses are lost in action. but he doesn't mind. and then it's all action, washing up, stripping beds, loading customers and their gear onto the tender and tidying up the boat. the next thing i know i'm home. i'm a bit impatient on the road on the way home. i figure if you're doing 80-90 in a hundred zone, then you expect people to overtake you when they have the room. and if you're sitting the right lane doing under the speed limit when we have dual lanes, that you're a frikking moron and i'll get around you whichever way i can. around the left this weekend. when my bike is working, around the right. nothing like overtaking someone on double lines, blasting past their window to wake them up and wonder why they are cruising in the wrong lane.

here's a hint. if you are doing 80kph throught the bends, and have 15 cars stacked up behind you, then don't speed up to 120kph when you get to dual lanes, or sit next to another car doing 100 kph, while you are doing 100kph. unless you are an aresehole. so far i've refrained from being a bigger arsehole. i just get round them as quickly and safely as i can, while cringing about the consequences of being booked for 140 in a 100 zone. but my inner snarky self still dreams of just getting in front of them, and blocking them in next to some other moron doing 80. maybe they will use their brains for once. but i'm not holding my breath.

hello, that shiny thing up there. it's not for doing your lipstick, adjusting your hair gell, checking for bits in your teeth. if you turn it round the right way, you can see out the back window. oh look at all of those cars. they're all following me. they must be reading my "honk if you're horny" sticker on the bumper, cause they're all so close and some are honking.

apparently in canada they have these lanes that are the opposite of overtaking lanes. if you're driving along, being slow, then every 5 clicks or so, these lanes pop up and you pull over and everyone gets past. sounds great. but unfortunately the brain dead fuckers that we have, who hold up everyone through the single lanes, then speed up to 120 when it's dual, are too fucking thick to get it anyway. go with the flow, smoke them on the straights, cringe the whole way while thinking that someone as clueless as this stupid fuck you're overtaking, could be going the other way, and is in at least 3 minds on what fucking side of the road they belong on anyway. (the ditch pricks. just pull left until your car overturns or gets wrapped up in a barbed wire fence). i'm all for courteous driving. but some people just don't get it. if someone is up your arse, perhaps they wish to overtake you. speeding up when the road is flat and your heart medication isn't taking a pounding, does not relieve the situation grandma/granddad.

i probably should now shut up. i had a frustrating drive home. and let out it on everyone. including the poor pricks stacked up behind the geriatrics who don't do more than 80 in a 100zone. i smoked them up the right, then i smoked them up the left. pushed in and went around the outside on roundabouts. all the stuff that annoys the shit out of me when other people do it, but i understand it anyway.

at least i wasn't on my bike (should it ever surface again). i have no patience for pricks. if you overtake someone doing 98, while you go past in the overtaking lane doing 99, i'll either split yers, or go around the outside. and my exhaust isn't standard, when i bop around, all of a sudden it's like they wake from their sleep. hello! :-)

stop, revive, survive fuckers. obviously driving is a hard chore. every 5 mins, pull over for the night.

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