Thursday, March 31, 2005

and so quickly, toxic thursday brings me screaming back to earth.

i wasn't so good at keeping it all balanced and shit at work today. it all got under my skin.

there's this one particularly painful customer. she insists on keeping all the cd's for software that is installed on her computer. only that's not our policy, and being the pest that she is, she manages to keep stuff that isn't hers either, which is a real tooth extraction situation when you try and get it off her so you can install it on the fucking machine it's meant to be on. fucking.

a fair while back a few councils in sydney got stung by a group called the business software association of australia. they audited a few councils and businesses. the going fine then was $50,000 an individual, and $250,000 for a company. per copy of illegally installed software. it's gone up since then. bankstown or somewhere like that got stung for "an undisclosed sum" and had to make assurances to tidy up their act.

so we did our own audit (and shit ourselves bigtime) and did our own tidy up. thank fuck they didn't come here first. there was shit everywhere. so we turned into the lovable I.T. nazis that we are today. any software that will be installed, will be installed by us, or under our direction. we maintain the licences, and we count them and make sure the fucking software companies all get their pounds of flesh. fucking.

so we've tried to tread carefully around this pest. she is so mother-fucking-painful to deal with. i kid you not. logic is not an option. it does not compute. a couple of times we had to "borrow" software off her that wasn't even hers. and once you start trying to explain it to her... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!

so today she came and borrowed a cd for some software which is installed on her computer and a few other people's computers. she wanted the manuals as well to add to her trophy collection, but we don't bother buying them any more. just as we don't bother buying separate cd's for each and every computer. and then she wanted to copy it herself. hello. welcome to the reason we didn't want to give people cd burners (well that and because we are IT nazis after all). did you read the licence? do you understand the licence? (not a fucking chance, for either) i told her we'd copy a few backup copies for her (after checking the licence, and maybe just putting whatever it was she wanted on the cd, on her hard disk anyway). not her. us. repeat a few times because she's started blathering and is saying how she is the "licenced operator" and some other shit. so she fled, holding the fucking cd like she was a front rower and it was the damned football.

so i'm sitting there trying to fucking analyse myself. am i just being painful because she is such a fucking pest? am i causing all this shit? should i make an exception in this case just because she is such a mother fucking stupid psycho pain-in-the-arse ignorant luser? i hate self doubt. so i brush it off and add it to the stockpile (i'm sure there's an arms race of self doubt somwhere, and i'm fucking winning)

what i should have done was go back to the manual
changed her password to a 16 digit randomnly generated string, deleted her files, cracked into asio and made up some shit about her being involved with saddamn who sucks, or osama bin lining, and videoed them dragging her screaming out of the building.

i've just decided fuck it. not treading carefully anymore. here's the fucking company policy. like it, or fucking hate it. it doesn't care and neither do i. i email her and her boss and my boss. hello. you came asking for some blank cd's to copy this cd. and it was really urgent. when presented with the facts, you pissed off with said software, saying you had to ask someone if they wanted a copy. however you never came back with the cd, so it can't have been that urgent. i hope you aren't copying the cd. cause that's against the policy. here's the policy. we look after software, we install software, we fix software, and we look after licencing, so that clueless idiots like you can't fuck it up. and no unauthorised fucking morons will copy mother fucking software. (it's spelled exactly like that. i swear. would i lie to you?)

back the fuck up and let me do my job

so she comes back and has a hissy fit to my boss, eventually, and takes some blank cd's (which she is entitled to for her work) and pisses off. end of the day i ask him. ok, i haven't got the software back from luser, should i be following up on this? cause i notice that she's paid you a visit as well. he said don't worry about it. she came in, had a whinge, told him she'd whinged to her boss (poor bastard), and tomorrow my boss gets to have a fight with her boss.

i gotta admit. i've impressed myself. i've gone from pissed off at this moronic clueless luser, to fairly happy. (if a little strained and a painted on grimace) she's bein a pest. i've given up catering to her neuroses. i've done something. she doesn't like it. it's gone to the next level. the boss has pretty much told me to do what i'm doing, and supports me.

the downside of course is that i only managed to bump 1 painful thing up to his level, and he dropped 3 on me. fuck. spose i'd better do a few of them if i expect him to carry the fucking flag for me fucking.

and tomorrow, it'll all be forgotten. well by me anyway. it'll be a whole new ball of shit that i have to deal with.

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