Thursday, March 31, 2005

and so quickly, toxic thursday brings me screaming back to earth.

i wasn't so good at keeping it all balanced and shit at work today. it all got under my skin.

there's this one particularly painful customer. she insists on keeping all the cd's for software that is installed on her computer. only that's not our policy, and being the pest that she is, she manages to keep stuff that isn't hers either, which is a real tooth extraction situation when you try and get it off her so you can install it on the fucking machine it's meant to be on. fucking.

a fair while back a few councils in sydney got stung by a group called the business software association of australia. they audited a few councils and businesses. the going fine then was $50,000 an individual, and $250,000 for a company. per copy of illegally installed software. it's gone up since then. bankstown or somewhere like that got stung for "an undisclosed sum" and had to make assurances to tidy up their act.

so we did our own audit (and shit ourselves bigtime) and did our own tidy up. thank fuck they didn't come here first. there was shit everywhere. so we turned into the lovable I.T. nazis that we are today. any software that will be installed, will be installed by us, or under our direction. we maintain the licences, and we count them and make sure the fucking software companies all get their pounds of flesh. fucking.

so we've tried to tread carefully around this pest. she is so mother-fucking-painful to deal with. i kid you not. logic is not an option. it does not compute. a couple of times we had to "borrow" software off her that wasn't even hers. and once you start trying to explain it to her... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!

so today she came and borrowed a cd for some software which is installed on her computer and a few other people's computers. she wanted the manuals as well to add to her trophy collection, but we don't bother buying them any more. just as we don't bother buying separate cd's for each and every computer. and then she wanted to copy it herself. hello. welcome to the reason we didn't want to give people cd burners (well that and because we are IT nazis after all). did you read the licence? do you understand the licence? (not a fucking chance, for either) i told her we'd copy a few backup copies for her (after checking the licence, and maybe just putting whatever it was she wanted on the cd, on her hard disk anyway). not her. us. repeat a few times because she's started blathering and is saying how she is the "licenced operator" and some other shit. so she fled, holding the fucking cd like she was a front rower and it was the damned football.

so i'm sitting there trying to fucking analyse myself. am i just being painful because she is such a fucking pest? am i causing all this shit? should i make an exception in this case just because she is such a mother fucking stupid psycho pain-in-the-arse ignorant luser? i hate self doubt. so i brush it off and add it to the stockpile (i'm sure there's an arms race of self doubt somwhere, and i'm fucking winning)

what i should have done was go back to the manual
changed her password to a 16 digit randomnly generated string, deleted her files, cracked into asio and made up some shit about her being involved with saddamn who sucks, or osama bin lining, and videoed them dragging her screaming out of the building.

i've just decided fuck it. not treading carefully anymore. here's the fucking company policy. like it, or fucking hate it. it doesn't care and neither do i. i email her and her boss and my boss. hello. you came asking for some blank cd's to copy this cd. and it was really urgent. when presented with the facts, you pissed off with said software, saying you had to ask someone if they wanted a copy. however you never came back with the cd, so it can't have been that urgent. i hope you aren't copying the cd. cause that's against the policy. here's the policy. we look after software, we install software, we fix software, and we look after licencing, so that clueless idiots like you can't fuck it up. and no unauthorised fucking morons will copy mother fucking software. (it's spelled exactly like that. i swear. would i lie to you?)

back the fuck up and let me do my job

so she comes back and has a hissy fit to my boss, eventually, and takes some blank cd's (which she is entitled to for her work) and pisses off. end of the day i ask him. ok, i haven't got the software back from luser, should i be following up on this? cause i notice that she's paid you a visit as well. he said don't worry about it. she came in, had a whinge, told him she'd whinged to her boss (poor bastard), and tomorrow my boss gets to have a fight with her boss.

i gotta admit. i've impressed myself. i've gone from pissed off at this moronic clueless luser, to fairly happy. (if a little strained and a painted on grimace) she's bein a pest. i've given up catering to her neuroses. i've done something. she doesn't like it. it's gone to the next level. the boss has pretty much told me to do what i'm doing, and supports me.

the downside of course is that i only managed to bump 1 painful thing up to his level, and he dropped 3 on me. fuck. spose i'd better do a few of them if i expect him to carry the fucking flag for me fucking.

and tomorrow, it'll all be forgotten. well by me anyway. it'll be a whole new ball of shit that i have to deal with.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005


today was a good day. took a flexi and went up to eastern creek for the day.

a couple of mates of mine bought a second hand, suzuki gsxr-1000 (2002 model) for trackdays. it was so cheap they couldn't say no. and now they are thinking of getting back to racing. so the "team pig" pit crew (me and me brother) took off for the day to play.

our quickest rider, who wants to get back into racing, said that unless he can get down below 1 minute 45 second laps at eastern creek, then he's not going to be racing, as it'd be too embarrasing. but it's the first time he's been on any motorcycle for 3 years. actually when i rode it down pitlane for scrutineering, it was the first bike i'd been on for 3 years as well. so the pair of them were taking it cautiously for the few sessions. a few rain showers slowed up the situation as well. especially as we only had slicks and no grooved tyres.

our quickest rider was hovering outside his "target" laptime for a few sessions, then he came up behind a guy he used to ride endurance rounds with. then he got a bit quicker. by the end of the day he'd managed a 1 minute 42 second lap, and a string of 1 minute 44 second ones. so we were pretty happy with a first day out. a few guys out there going quite a bit quicker though. including Kevin Magee on a mv augusta 1000. he was laying big black lines all round the track.

i wanted to take a photo of him with his bike, but when i strolled down pit lane he was sitting on the ground having a cigarette, and had a grumpy look on his face, so i left him alone. he probably gets bothered enough by people so i figured i wouldn't be a botherer.

didn't have too much go wrong the whole day. we were being really professional, and checking the fuel level with a hacksaw blade, dipped in the tank, until some dipstick dropped the fucking thing in. damn. i hate it when i do shit like that. i don't think we did anything else too kooky. some nice toys at the track. and as usual, a few people taking them home in a box after stuffing up in the rain.

in the last session, our quick rider was catching his ex-teammate again, and got the bit between his teeth, next thing we know he's missed turn one and is doing is level best to stop before the tyre barrier in the runoff area. hehehe he spent the rest of the session trying to catch him again but didn't quite manage it.

then we loaded up, cable tied everything to the trailer, jumped in the crapmobile, and joined peak traffic going nowhere. home eventually, now i'm stuffed. need sleep.

Monday, March 28, 2005

the ski boat still isn't fixed. so i nicked dad's boat and took the kids for a drag.

D managed to get up on his surfboard behind the boat. i was very impressed. i've tried it and never got away with it. my niece came along as well. she had a go on the kneeboard. i managed to bounce her off a few times, but she was still giggling at the end of the day. i think they all had fun. L just likes going fast. so skiing isn't the most exciting, although she likes yelling at them to stand up, or me to go faster. of course when she drives, the throttle is fully down and we're off.

D is really switched on with his driving, always looking ahead and thinking. so i'm pretty happy with that. i'll get them both licenses. D can drive when i'm skiing, and L can do the commute up the river :-) that way i can make sure we don't get into mischief.

i've just been trolling through boatpoint.com.au for the first time since i was married i'm feeling a really big urge to budget myself, live like a pauper for awhile, and buy some new toys. once my mate's boat is fixed i reckon we'll be skiing all winter.

bring it on.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

another day in the life of a rat. not much to say really. ski boat isn't right yet, but we're taking it out tomorrow because the batteries are charged and we're taking a rescue boat. in any case, the kids will be happy.

D wants to try surfing behind the boat, and L just loves going fast. i think i'm taking at least one of my brother's gremlins, maybe the whole tribe. we'll see tomorrow.

next year. definitely my own boat. can go when i want, and no excuses. plus if my brother wants to go, or my other skiing buddies from my earlier life, they can just take the damn boat if they want.

i just had one of those retail therapy moments. bought a dvd on ebay about slalom water skiing by an ex world champion, andy mapple. can't wait to see it...

ps: ok, yes, i'm obsessing. it's in my nature...

Saturday, March 26, 2005

too wet for skiing today. skiing in the rain is too hard, you can't look forwards because you get pelted in the eyes with raindrops, plus it was windy and yucky. so we leave the batteries on charge and make other plans.

a mate of mine rings me that i haven't seen for years. he's in shitville 2580 visiting his mum. so i figure as i'm not doing anything anyway, i might as well go up there for a drive and catch up. not too many loonies on the roads today, but lotsa cops, so i'm behaving. as i drive to his mum's place i drive past the war memorial. there's a bump and a big dip on the hill. when we were young and had hotted up cars we'd come hooting over here and get airborne. anyone silly enough to sit in the backseat of my torana would headbutt the roof.

so i catch up with my friend and his girlfriend, then we went over to canberra for no particularly good reason. drove around and checked out some tourist shit. then back over to shitville. i'm all done with company. i like my friend, but he loves to reminisce about all the bad shit thats happened in his life, and i'd prefer to forget all the crap that's happened. being back in shitsville is annoying enough anyway. so i say my goodbyes and take off.

quickly drop in on some other friends i haven't seen in awhile. the only people i usually travel up there to see. then i get out of town. it's getting on my nerves.

a big fat full moon over the road in front of me as i drive home. a redbull to keep me awake, and an hour and a half later i'm home. less driving tomorrow i promise myself...

Friday, March 25, 2005

easter friday, or some pagan festival, who cares. long weekend :-)

i was rostered to work, but on wednesday, due to the flu, i figured i'd better get someone to take my place, instead of leaving it until the last minute and possibly not being able to go.

deckie number 1 took my place. my job description is deckhand, galley slave, and tart. work on the deck, work in the galley (washing dishes) and flirt with the customers. one of the other deckies is deckie number 1, i'm probably number 2 or 3. my sister, who i introduced to the boat after i started work, is tart number 1. without a shadow of a doubt. i'm tart number 5, or maybe 6. tart in training. frigging hopeless. the boss and my sister start giggling and sniggering between themselves when they see me talking to a girl.

so last night i thought i'd have an early night, seeing as i have the flu, and spend the weekend getting over it. but someone sends me (and a bunch of others) an email at work saying "how about a few drinkies at the pub?" seeing as it's the end of the week and all. twist my arm and i'm there like a shot. then i get a message on my phone to ring my mate with the boat, woohoo, skiing today! after a sleep in!

it was an ok day on the water. the sun was up, the water is nice. getting a little cool, but i wore a wetsuit (yeah i'm a wuss, but i've got a cold) to stay warm. unfortunately we had battery problems though. looks like the alternator mightn't be charging the batteries. so we got a jump start. but we usually start in gear, the dog clutch doesn't work very well, and every time we try to put it in gear after jump starting in neutral, we stall. the very patient lads who came to our rescue (we're gonna buy them a few beers if we seem them again) ended up driving their boat, with us holding on beside them, while we started in gear, jumper leads between the two boats. sounds dodgy? well yes it was. but we got away with it. i drew the short straw and was driving, me mate looks at me as we thank the lads for their help, unclip the leads, and peel off, and he says to me.

"don't stall it"

so we go. i think the boat was designed for someone a lot shorter than me. i have to wedge myself as far back in the seat as possible, otherwise my right ankle smashes into the dash board every time we hit a bump. it's a left hand drive, right foot throttle. 20 mins back to the boat ramp, and we stop. just to see, we try and start it again. not a chance. the alternator must be cactus. so the batteries are on charge and we're taking a spare. we'll go skiing again tomorrow and see how we go. teething problems :-)

another day. another dodgy boat trip. life is never boring...

Thursday, March 24, 2005

happy thursday

don't i wish

one chore done. a few failed to complete. a few beers at the pub after work. i think i just took my cough medicine twice by mistake. i don't think that will kill me, but it'll probably kick in after 30 mins or so and keep me awake until 4:00am.

dropped into another pub on the way home. it's just changed hands. different manager, different bar staff,. lotsa pissed young blokes with attitudes they're gonna have a shitfight there tonight.

not working this weekend as i have the flu, but i'm healthy enough to go skiing. woohoo. you only live once, as far as i know anyway. water's warm, i'll be right.

one of the old dudes at work died today. he was a painful old bastard when it came to work stuff. like working on his computer. he kicked me out of his office once. he'd had to deal with another tech who rubbed him up the wrong way, and i bore the brunt of it. but he came along with a group of us to the cricket for the last 3 years i think. we always stopped to say g'day to each other and have a yarn. and i'd pretend to understand when he started talking about the cricket. a good lad. i'm sorry to see him go.

he'll be missed.

give 'em heaps Ken. i had a few drinks for you tonight. we all did. here's to you old son

Wednesday, March 23, 2005


another day, another disaster, another 500 friggen grey hairs.

i think i learned a new skill though. when someone i work with was a bit grumpy and stuff, wanting to know what i was gonna do and when i was gonna do it (and hurry me up) i just levelled with him. here's the facts, everything we can do to resolve the problem is gonna involve a network outage to a heap of people for at least 20-30 mins. we're waiting on the supplier to give us the best answer so we know where to go from there. if we're going to stuff everyone up for that time, i'd prefer to do it only once.

as it was the supplier didn't get back to us until too late anyway, so we bluffed our way through. one of the guys is in there tonight sorting it out. hopefully tomorrow all will be good. ha ha fucking ha.

i'm too tired and cranky with the flu to take any shit, and it seemed to work. oh i'm sure he's taking flack from unhappy customers, and he's not happy about it. well cry me a river, i'm not happy either. but the shit is in the fan already, get over it.

still fogheaded by the end of the day, so i've swapped my weekend and someone else is working on the weekend in my place. pity, i was looking forward to a 4 day weekend on the water, but seeing as i'm meant to board tomorrow night, and i still don't know if i'm getting better or still getting worse, i thought i'd better organise my replacement already. oh well, maybe my mate will take his boat out and we can go for a ski.

paid soccer rego. now i've just got to get new boots for me and for my daughter. not training tonight, got to get better first. i'll go for a run on monday or something...

Tuesday, March 22, 2005


the flu is catching up. dunno if i'm going uphill or downhill. any time out of the office is good. airconditioning plays havoc when you've got the flu. especially if you've got airconditioning like ours which is carefully adjusted to be always outside the range of comfortable.

which is why so many people in the building have electric fans, and fan heaters.

being the boss isn't much fun. but it's a challenge i guess. i'm not dead yet. the new guy has finished his indoctrination, and doesn't appear to be bleeding too heavily from the ears. he's a computer geek, opinionated, got ideas what he wants to do and generally a bit difficult. so he's gonna fit right in.

he certainly has the talk though. if he can walk the walk, as good as he can talk the talk, he's gonna be good. hell, i'm only the "acting" boss. he could get my job yet. he's certainly got the credentials. i'm gonna throw a few projects his way, he's a security expert, and i've got a few jobs that could be right up his alley. plus one of our younger techs can go along for the ride with him and pick some stuff up. i can't be arsed being paranoid, i know there's lots of stuff i know nothing about. he was telling me some stuff today about how we could improve things, and i'm only picking up about every third word. perhaps i'll have to revoke my geek status. i'll see how much slack i can give him, and try and balance him with everyone else. don't want anyone getting bored. and i certainly don't want anyone stuck on the helpdesk going insane.

one of the advantages of being new is that he isn't loaded down with unfinished shit. and he's keen and raring. i've got some chores that are right up his alley...

Monday, March 21, 2005

some photos

a little tube worm. the "fan" is a filter feeder doodad. they catch food from the water movement. if you make a sudden movement, like snapping your fingers, they retract in an instant.

here's another tube worm, a bit bigger. same principle. with a sponge thingy or something

same again, cropped a bit

and a little nudibranch. not as colourful as most.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

back to business

my first weekend back on the boat for about 6 weeks. it felt like forever. i think i need to be retrained.

nothing too eventful on friday night. vacuumed, washed some stuff, loaded the customers on the boat, didn't fall overboard. the last is always a good point.

the customers had obviously had a big week as well. after driving 4-6 hours to get here, then a few drinkies, they crashed not too long after 12:00. well i'm not sure. seeing as the boss was still up, and i have to be up at 7:00am (yeah yeah Dirk, it's a sleep in for you), anyway, seeing as the boss was still up, and i'll be the late bunny on saturyday night. i headed for the sack.

saturday wasn't particularly amazing. southerly swell, southerly winds. we can't go anywhere but on the south side of the bay. our group is a little less than perfectly coordinated. but we iron out the boring bits, and everyone seems to be having fun. hindsight though, teaches me that a snorkeller who has never worn a wetsuit before, and although cute, isn't the brightest sock in the sock drawer, and should not wear a weight belt.

so, she goes for a snorkel, and misjudges the swell and ends up on the rocks on an island where you're not allowed, and we send her boyfriend to rescue her, who also ends up on the island...

i had a good dive though. just an exploratory dive on an area of the bay where the navy let off a few explosives in the 70's. there's a series of holes (when viewed from above) in the sea grass. the holes are over 10 metres in diameter, and according to a few surveys, it's going to be over 140 years before the grasses reclaim the lost area. anchor damage they recover from quite quickly, as the root system is usually intact, but it's not like cooch grass, it's not very invasive. the cook uncovers an angel shark in the silt/sand. i scare the shit out of myself about 5 times by annoying little rays who are dug in, in the sand. cookie annoys our angel shark, but nothing bad happens, later she's checking out something else, and is about 1 foot from kicking another angel shark buried in the sand behind her.

sitting on the back deck later and our snorkeller is going for another swim, this time in just her bikini. as fate would have it, i'm sitting on the rail at the top of the steps to the back deck. where i spend most of my weekends. and she won't get in, she's just standing there, flaunting. what can i do? well i'm not the most forward person i know. so i don't suggest a few ideas i have, but i sit back and enjoy the view. we talk about the area, diving, snorkelling and stuff like that. her boyfriend is underwater, it goes against the code to even think of attemping anything. but the view is nice. :-)

later i finally get a chance to watch my grafton bridge to bridge race dvd. frikken awesome. i wanna play that game. trying to work out who i know will buy a ski hull, a big fat blown motor, and drag me and one of my stupid mates 105 kilometres up and down the clarence river in under 40 mins.

saturday night i don't do the night dive. the cook does and has a fun time. my day has been too big, and i haven't had my nap. but i kinda get my second wind, the next thing i know it's 12:00 and the boss is asleep, and there's customers everywhere. damn. go to sleep dudes! but the idiot factor kicked in, and me and the cook started giving them russian cocaine. you get a slice of orange, you plonk one side of it on perculator coffee, the other side on sugar, then you scull a shot of vodka, then you eat the orange. the vodka gets you pissed, the coffee keeps you awake, and i forget the other stuff.

anyway, at 1:30 they all give up and go to sleep. dream about skiing and going very fast. it must be some kind of zen. i never dream about stuff i want to do. it's usually wierd shit, or dreams of loss, or some other rubbish that gets my shrink rubbing her hands together. i won't digress, it's boring.

anyway, the idea of skiing at over 200kph has be rubbing my hands. that's gotta be a rush. the fastest i've ever skiied isn't much over 100kph, and on the shitty ski i was on, a whole bunch of scarey. and occasionally, a big bouncing dramatic stack. who can i convince to buy a ski boat like that? my mate's new ski boat is an ex bridge to bridge race boat. maybe he can be conned into jumping a few levels and going sick. now to find another stupid skier :-) i've got a couple in mind hehehehe

sunday the weather is much nicer. mostly overcast but a couple of nice shiny sunny moments. the divers have a few nice dives, including an exploratory dive on a site that the cook and myself found by accident once. i love this site. i've only ever dived it when the viz is good, and i feel narked the whole time. it's only at about 24 metres, but it's just such an open, big, cool area of fun stuff, blows me out.

we press gang one of the customers into serving lunch, as myself and the cook are busy putting the food on the plates, and bosses are lost in action. but he doesn't mind. and then it's all action, washing up, stripping beds, loading customers and their gear onto the tender and tidying up the boat. the next thing i know i'm home. i'm a bit impatient on the road on the way home. i figure if you're doing 80-90 in a hundred zone, then you expect people to overtake you when they have the room. and if you're sitting the right lane doing under the speed limit when we have dual lanes, that you're a frikking moron and i'll get around you whichever way i can. around the left this weekend. when my bike is working, around the right. nothing like overtaking someone on double lines, blasting past their window to wake them up and wonder why they are cruising in the wrong lane.

here's a hint. if you are doing 80kph throught the bends, and have 15 cars stacked up behind you, then don't speed up to 120kph when you get to dual lanes, or sit next to another car doing 100 kph, while you are doing 100kph. unless you are an aresehole. so far i've refrained from being a bigger arsehole. i just get round them as quickly and safely as i can, while cringing about the consequences of being booked for 140 in a 100 zone. but my inner snarky self still dreams of just getting in front of them, and blocking them in next to some other moron doing 80. maybe they will use their brains for once. but i'm not holding my breath.

hello, that shiny thing up there. it's not for doing your lipstick, adjusting your hair gell, checking for bits in your teeth. if you turn it round the right way, you can see out the back window. oh look at all of those cars. they're all following me. they must be reading my "honk if you're horny" sticker on the bumper, cause they're all so close and some are honking.

apparently in canada they have these lanes that are the opposite of overtaking lanes. if you're driving along, being slow, then every 5 clicks or so, these lanes pop up and you pull over and everyone gets past. sounds great. but unfortunately the brain dead fuckers that we have, who hold up everyone through the single lanes, then speed up to 120 when it's dual, are too fucking thick to get it anyway. go with the flow, smoke them on the straights, cringe the whole way while thinking that someone as clueless as this stupid fuck you're overtaking, could be going the other way, and is in at least 3 minds on what fucking side of the road they belong on anyway. (the ditch pricks. just pull left until your car overturns or gets wrapped up in a barbed wire fence). i'm all for courteous driving. but some people just don't get it. if someone is up your arse, perhaps they wish to overtake you. speeding up when the road is flat and your heart medication isn't taking a pounding, does not relieve the situation grandma/granddad.

i probably should now shut up. i had a frustrating drive home. and let out it on everyone. including the poor pricks stacked up behind the geriatrics who don't do more than 80 in a 100zone. i smoked them up the right, then i smoked them up the left. pushed in and went around the outside on roundabouts. all the stuff that annoys the shit out of me when other people do it, but i understand it anyway.

at least i wasn't on my bike (should it ever surface again). i have no patience for pricks. if you overtake someone doing 98, while you go past in the overtaking lane doing 99, i'll either split yers, or go around the outside. and my exhaust isn't standard, when i bop around, all of a sudden it's like they wake from their sleep. hello! :-)

stop, revive, survive fuckers. obviously driving is a hard chore. every 5 mins, pull over for the night.

Friday, March 18, 2005

and thus ends another fruitless week

i'm on the boat for the weekend. weather forecast isn't too good, but i don't care. sleeping in would be nice, but you get that. i'll have a little siesta after lunch tomorrow. and then again maybe i'll watch my new dvd i just bought. the 2004 grafton bridge to bridge race :-)


Thursday, March 17, 2005

god botherers and my front fucking door

my apologies in advance to anyone who is religious. just don't read on. i have religious friends. they're ok. they don't bother me with their religion. it's just the painful pricks who come to the door.

i was taught to be polite (oops). and not to interrupt and stuff. be polite, listen and wait your turn. and these pricks play on that. leading questions and pre-scripted conversations so that you feel rude to interrupt. (don't get me started on fucking telemarketers)

eg: what do you get if you cross a hell's angel with a jehovah's witness?
ans: someone who knocks on your door and tells YOU to fuck off.

they are always so smug. god knows all. we can't guess at god's purpose etc...

so, hypothetically speaking, if god created it all, and he's omni present, omnipotent and a bunch of other omni-fucking-adjectives. so this particular god knew in advance what would happen. pain, disease, war, hunger, dead kids, a whole bunch of mother fucking painful stuff. however it's all a direct result of OUR? free will?

you must be fucking joking. if this god knew it all, then he planned it from the start. and you're at my front door, and you agree with him. you're his agent.

you're speaking for this war god? this god of pain and death and suffering? (and the fucking helpdesk)

wait one moment while i fetch a baseball bat, don't go away. i've got a message, and by the time i'm finished, you can give it to him in person...

**disclaimer** take this with a grain of salt. this is only for those of higher intelligence who are able to discern the difference between wit, satire, and terrorism. ok, probably not that much wit, but you get the idea. those who don't understand that, who feel that i really want to bash up the pathetic morons who knock on the front door and intimidate grandmothers and women, please feel free to flush your head down the toilet. i don't want to bash them up, but next time i catch one of them putting his fucking foot in the door when ladies i know try to tell them "no thanks" and close the door, they'll get a whole lot worse than some kids feeding the dumb fucks hash cookies.

another toxic thursday

well surprisingly, toxic thursday ended up with a win.

admittedly i only attempted one thing today. but it worked. eventually. some of our wide area network is connected by radio modems, unfortunately on unlicensed frequencies. this particular equipment has only 3 usable channels. sure it says it has 11, but all the fuckers overlap don't they.so you can use channel 1, channel 6 and channel 11. that's it. period.

so a little history. we got this stuff because it's cheap. relatively anyway. about $2000 an end. so a point to point connection costs you $4000. it works great in antarctica (got a friend working down there at the moment, he's having a frikking blast and i'm so jealous). but here we have a few problems.

my most particularly hated application we have ever deployed, started fucking up at a remote site a month ago. so i do a little investigation, and the fucking thing is having heaps of frikking packet errors. we try swapping the radio modem, but no change. scratch head and pick splinters out of fingernails.

then the boss says maybe talk to one of the local isp's might help. he's been using a few of the same unlicensed channels that we do. and he reckons there's a fair chance he is interfering, but no way can he turn it off. fuck. so i get one of the free maps we give out and draw a few lines on it with channels and point to points for the radio part of our network. and then work out a plan of attack for changing channels to see if that fixes the interference.

i must have driven 300 kilometres today. and the car is completely covered in mud (which makes me feel pretty good actually. there's nothing like nearly, but not quite, bogging your stupid 2wd work vehicle and getting it muddy hehehe). usually we only get interference from ourselves, so i had to work that bit out first, missed one though, and i changed the main link we were having problems with. only to find that the interference had changed ends. at least this time we're only fucking ourselves up. another drive around and fuck around with settings and it's all good.

errors are gone. now to see if stupid fucked up application works.

and i'm fucked...

soccer training for L. pay her rego (only $105) but her boots are trashed so i've gotta buy some new ones. damn. oh well, at least she's playing sport and meeting people and having fun.

my sister has been annoying the cat with a laser pointer she's found. and the little feral bastard goes off his nut. varnished wooden floors and a furry white feral monster going around and around in circles chasing a red laser dot has to be seen to be believed. and no, shining the laser dot on your brother as he goes from fridge to computer is not funny.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

well the busy season has definitely started.

my only free nights are thursdays, and my next day off is the 2nd of april, and that's when soccer starts. i'll have to take a flexi in there somehow. which also means no more skiing until either the 2nd of april after soccer, or the next day, if i'm still in one piece. i'll have to convince him to do some after work skiing next week before daylight savings disappears...

soccer training wasn't a huge turnout. not too bad though considering we've lost 4 players to another team and another couple aren't playing because we're only in third grade. we should have enough for a drinking team anyway :-) and i'm not the oldest anymore either! woohoo! we've got a guy come back to play who's 39. plus my brother is playing again, so i'm not the slowest either hehehehe

now i just need to fork out about $130-140 for some new soccer boots, $175 for my soccer rego, $175 for my daughter's rego and save up a bit of money for the inevitable physiotherapy visits, and i'll be set.

i have a spider abseiling in front of my screen, he's only tiny, and he keeps scurrying back up to the light, then down again. i think i made him self conscious, he's not coming back out. no wait, here he comes again.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

yet again i am at work when i should be at home drinking.

an old and particularly hated foe. microsuck's isa server. a complex, arcane attempt at a firewall solution, because no-one ever got fired for buying microsoft. this is a new version. isa 2004. and after listening to some online training, until i was bleeding from the ears, i figured i'd better have a go and see if i can get if off the list of crap i haven't completed yet.

so i'm sitting here waiting for the damn thing to get all the updates off the web so that it's got half a chance of being secure when i put it out on the perimeter. then it's sort through the mass of documentation until i can find something that is both comprehensible and correct. as there's a lot that is neither.

and seeing as it's a new version, i'm sure by the time i finish it, i'll have a whole bunch of new reasons to hate microsuck.

a lil later:

so i was gonna do the ironing. at least i folded up the other stuff. the dvd wasn't too bad, except the first 5 mins or so. i hate watching surf movies where they play it in slow motion, and do replays. i know where the remote is, if i want it slow, i'll play it slow, wanna see it again? i'll go back.

and occy was meant to be in it. i musta blinked at the wrong time. dya know, i'm nearly famous. i knew a guy who went to school with occy.

Monday, March 14, 2005

monday bloody monday

a job which should have taken me an hour, ended up taking 4 hours, and 2 extra trips back and forth from the office. it didn't get any better after that. a bike ride and a trip to the gym (ouch) after work to try and unwind a bit.

bills due. and i'm in a slump. can't be bothered doing anything. my energiser batteries only last until about 4:00pm, and then i start to grind to a halt. i rented a dvd and was going to do the ironing. maybe tomorrow...

Sunday, March 13, 2005

do you ever get the feeling that life is a game? the problem is. i don't know the rules and every-fucking-body else does

i get that feeling. funnily enough it's just been highlighted by an advertisement on telly. i don't usually watch telly. there's a picture of a pretty girl in a bikini. and it's just occurred to me that one of the rules appears to be that it's ok to lust after pretty girls, just because they're pretty girls. and they expect, and actually want, to be lusted after. except of course for when i actually think it's ok to lust after the cute chickies, then for some other rule i don't get, it's not ok.

maybe it's just one of those zen moments...

it reminds me of a line from a douglas adams book i like to read. dirk gently's holistic detective agenty. his stars for the day reads: "everything you do today will be wrong". i wonder how the fuck i managed to apply that to my whole damn life...

(disclaimer: whatever you thought i meant by all this, i probably didn't. wherever i thought i was going with this, is distorted by the fact that my life is one big fuckup)

the worst thing is, tomorrow is hangover monday. it'll really suck.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

what a day. a day of fun in the sun. this is the lucky country.

8:30 the phone goes off. damn. so i'm up and bouncing through the house trying to find it. mr new-boat-owner wants to know if i'm coming skiing. hell yes. back to bed for another 30 mins sleep and then it's off to pick up L.she's old enough to be an observer, and she loves going fast in boats.

so i eventually drag myself out of bed and get out to my ex's to pick L up. and apart from my ex's guy, who's just got home from night work, i've woken everyone else up. so i feel really bad. and because no-one i know reads this, and my brother and sisters will keep their gobs shut. gees, it never fails to hit me. my ex wife is very cute. damn. oh well, bridges burnt and stuff... (fuck fuck shit fuck damn damn fucking damn. ok, switch brain back on. bridges burnt. and we're too similar. headstrong, emotional, and dumb. 20-20 hindsight, and rose tinted glasses.)

pick up L and we're off to my mate's, off to the river, and we're heading upstream, escaping the jelly blubbers. we both have a couple of ski runs. endurance is getting better. my ski is a lot better with the repaired binding, but still not fantastic. i borrow my mates, bottom of the line, combo ski, and it's so much better for getting out of the water, and the binding is awesome. it's just not as stable at speed. i need to try more skis.

we're both a bit wobbly at the start. but we start carving. after a few starts we're getting our shit together, and after a few turns, i'm starting to put a few together. still not good, but some of my turns didn't totally suck. i have my first choice stack of the season. not one of those ones where you are winded and water is pouring out of your eyes, but i was a big fat skipping stone, bouncing across the water for about 30 metres. a bit of a swim back to the ski. it's only gonna get better :-) about a 5-6 out of 10 on the stack-o-meter. it only gets better. i need to demo some good skis. i am in fucking heaven. fair dinkum.

the fibreglass engine cover isn't waterproof, and we pick up some water, the belt for the raw water pump starts slipping, and the sender unit for the temperature gauge screws up as well. so we have to stop and check it out. fortunately we're done skiing for the day. i'm screwed. back home and i'm having a nap to try and catch up.

hmmm, tomorrow, the same again :-D la la lalala la lala la (smurf theme song, just to be irritating)

Friday, March 11, 2005

friday at last. hip hoo fucking hooray.

well my week was an interesting week.

i'm bein the boss this week. but i'm not really stressing out. had a few beers tonight with a hr type person. and i found they are not all totally useless. she gave me a few ideas that can help me with my people. making sure they aren't all adrift with my "fast and loose" leadership style. i'm totally against over managing people. all the people i work with have brains. none of them need their hands held.

the latest object of my affection was at the pub after work. we thought the best way to unwind after bein at work all week, was to have a coupla drinks after work at the pub. she'd already told me that she wasn't interested. just wants to be friends. and that's cool with me. actually very cool. crush cured. i've got my brain back and am able to think again.

i think she was a little worried i'd be, er, a little strange about it all. but it's easy for me. i'm unable to have a crush on anyone who has expressed disinterest. don't bother telling me a reason. reasons are not required. in my world, interest is driven by emotion. if you ain't interested, then you ain't interested. no point getting all revved up. don't know what works with girls though. i'm sure all the cool guys are perfectly capable of making the girlies quiver in their little booties. well, just sucks to be me :-)

so anyway, we talked and we laughed. and i'm hoping that she's not feeling bothered now. i hate feeling that a friend is bothered by my advances. i guess that means i've got a lot to learn.

well i don't give a flying fuck. (plug that into the give-a-fuck-o-meter batman). relationships for me are very hit and miss. but when they hit. they really hit. i've finally worked out that i'm a fairly emotional moron, and when the chicky of my dreams comes along, well she just clicks and it's all good. i've got no other way of describing it other than that. it worked twice, and i stuffed it up both times.but every other time, when it doesn't click, it's like the wave doesn't sweep me away.

gah. i'll be single till i die now. there can not be that many gullible chickies in the world...

Thursday, March 10, 2005

get home, sister says, so how was the pub?


see anyone there you know?

your brother


your other brother. (cause i rang him)

fair dinkum there's some dipshits in the world. coupla koori lads are playing pool with everyone else. they ain't causing any trouble. but there's one mcfukkin moron with a chip on his shoulder mouthing off about blackfellas.

we talk to the moron. he's a nephew of a friend. "please shuttup dickhead". he says yeah, no worries. but he doesn't stop mouthing off. fuckwit.

so we talk to the lads. apologise for poor behaviour. say he's a nephew of a friend etc.. they say they aren't gonna do nuthin. just have a chat to him one day when everyone is sober. they are more sober than me.

pissed nephew of friend keeps mouthing off. i'm wondering, is it ok for me to punch him to shut him up? fucking moron.

i'm going home. on the way out we ask koori lads to please not bury drunken spastic. they laugh. i reckon unless he's stupid enough to pick a fight, he'll be right. unfortunately he appears to be pretty stupid.

forget black and white, koori and skippy. i've managed (with a few unfortunate exceptions) to get along, no worries. but if you're looking for a fight, you're gonna get one. this idiot is looking for a fight, and the people he's annoying, are nowhere near as pissed as him. but he'll learn nuthin, except pain.

every now and then god speaks to me. which is a bit wierd. i'm an athiest. he just said "go to the pub". maybe its some little inner voice then. dunno.

haven't been to the pub for a while, and not midweek in months. so what the hell. see meter below...

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

for the ladies

happy international women's day. i hope the men in your lives make a little effort today to tell you how special you all are. something small and meaningfull. choccies, cooking and washing up, a foot massage.

hope you had a great day special people

happy humpday

i guess.

i'm feeling kinda numb. emotionally detached. i'm so switched off i can't decide if that's better or worse than being frantic and insane.

soccer training was, er, well i went. our first grade captain coach was pissed off with the turnout to the weekend's trial game. so he defected to the team we played against, along with a coupla good players. so now we've only got enough players for one team, and we're playing third grade. sounds fine to me. i don't give a shit. just wanna go for a run on the weekend and sink a few beers afterwards.

our first grade striker, some good players, and some players who aren't quite as bad as me, are staying to play. so we should end up with a full team's worth. or not. whatever.

i probably should go for a surf tomorrow after work. apart from sticking my fingers in the light socket, it's probably the only thing that will wake me up out of this shit. i go from extreme to extreme i think. from having a mad crush this morning, spinning my wheels, brain completely short circuited. to now where i've convinced myself i'm managed to screw it all up again, and i'm just feeling numb.

i'm sure it'll all pass. i haven't done anything any more stupid than i've done previously. tomorrow i'll be polarised either in complete denial, insanely jealous, have a complete crush still, or some other extreme.

oh well. ain't dead yet :-)

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

and toxic tuesday comes to the fold.

another day. another dollar. another 50 cents in tax. another day sees the rat running round like a crazed loony with no idea.

dunno where monday went. i'm sure it was there. a day of failed expecations and failures to meet deadlines. hello hangover monday. but that's all par for the course. we're working up to humpday here. when we get paid. perhaps i'll get something right. not holding my breath though, i might turn blue.

despite all my stupidities, and whatever social faux pars i commit. my kids will still talk to me. so L and i play squash, she wearies even earlier than normal and it's time to drop her off. but she wants to know when she can come over on the weekend. D is undecided, doesn't know when he's seeing his girlie yet. i'm fairly understanding about that. it's nice to please everybody, but she is someone new and exciting in his life. so it's all good.

you can only get undivided attention from your kids for so long. then they develop interests, and partners, and social lives. dunno what happens after that. if you are 36 and you go to your folks once a week, does that mean you enjoy their company? or you have completely failed to keep whatever relationships you've had, going. for me. i've failed. but i'm not gonna be down about that for more than a lil bit. it's good to socialise with the folks. if i was a really, all together switched on, froody dude. i'd be in a relationship, and still managing to catch up with the folks for a bit of a bullshit session over a few beers.

on the other side of the coin though, if not for my marriage, i'd never bother spending time with the folks at all. hmmm, dunno how to compute that. except i know i never learned to appreciate my parents until after i was married. probably another failing. but at least i enjoy them now i spose.

tomorrow is a whole new day. i wonder what i'll do wrong tomorrow :-) so much potential, but only two hands....


Sunday, March 06, 2005

a sunday in the sun

i think i'm sunburnt. my face is feeling a little tight. but it was a great day.

went on the dolphin watch cruise. unfortunately the only dolphins we saw were painted on the side of the boat. the group was so big we booked two boats. of course the other damn boat saw dolphins. oh well. i don't care for me, because i see them all the time. but i really wanted to see how the kids reacted to seeing the dolphins.

bit of a bbq, a swim, bludging in the sun. a relaxing happy sunday. it's all good.

i didn't make an idiot of myself either (well not that i've found out yet). which is always good. well just now i managed to spill my beer. fortunately no on the keyboard, but all over me. bleah. i am so fucking unco, you wouldn't believe it.

those blue eyes.....

Saturday, March 05, 2005

saturday, finally.

slept in, went to the beach, surf was shit. so went home and did the ironing while watching some stupid dvd called "mischief" about street racing in the usa. it was crap. then watched the discovery channel's extreme machines: motorcycle mania dvd. it was ok. pity though. they went on and on about harley davidsons, and not much about anything else except for about 5 minutes about the isle of man tt.

now for super mario brothers, a few beers, and an early night. it's gonna be a big day tomorrow :-)

Friday, March 04, 2005

funky friday

well it would be more funky if i didn't have to work. my sis and my dad have gone fishing. a guy who used to work here had a sign at his desk: "the worst day fishing, is better than the best day working".

someone said to me the other day that i was the first person they'd ever seen wandering around the office with a shirt, tie, and no shoes.

gotta work tonight, hopefully not for too long. sure i like the extra money for working overtime.

but i'd rather have my playtime...

so i'm gonna scoot home, get changed into me drinkin togs, get back to work somehow, try and finish the job quickly, then bugger off to the pub. i'll call that plan A.

working until 2:00am and then again tomorrow can be called plan fuck. to be avoided at all costs

update: damn, skiing tomorrow is cancelled. drat

Thursday, March 03, 2005

when i was young, i was such a gutless shit. no self confidence, easily intimidated. hmmm, much like now i spose.

but when my little brother lost his licence (points offences) my dad blew up at him. thus i was introduced to protective instincts. my dad scared the shit out of me. but my little brother, almost puking by the side of the house, awoke a side of me that i didn't know i had. i went in the house and blew the living shit out of him. i screamed and i ranted and i raved. my mum (who i didn't even realise was there) stayed silent, as did my dad.

it wasn't until years later when i was acting like a dickhead, ok, just pick any time you like, there were lots, that my dad reminded me of that day, and told me to wake up to myself. he'd learned from me standing up for my brother, but expected me to also stand up and learn. people are fallible i'd told him, family comes first. well he told it all back to me.

i was amazed to find those same protective instincts surfacing for my kids. i'm a sound sleeper. you can burn down the house and blow up the dunny, but if i'm asleep, i'll never know. but when i have the kids, if they fart or gurgle, i'm awake. my eldest used to have bad dreams. i'd vault out of bed, over my ex, and wake up in my daughter's room. freaked me out to no end.

i'd give everything i own, and some stuff i don't, to erase the past and start anew. pity it doesn't work that way. when my marriage turned to a war, and we were (are still) so alike, we basically drew up lines and defended them. we are pigheaded, strong, fiercely protective, and very emotional. it wasn't until after we divorced that we learned to be friends. and now she is with another man, and we are two totally different people. perspective is everything. when we were fighting, i only thought of the moment. pain, anguish, hurt, my point of view. i learned a lot, but i also learned later, that when things are going pear shaped, it's so easy to forget.

i read a great book (well a few chapters from it) once. with a good friend of mine who is a girl (as opposed to a girlfriend). "why men lie, and why women cry". a very interesting insight into the opposite sex. wish i'd read it earlier. wanna spice up your marriage, save it, save yourself etc... give it a go. get the kids babysat, get a few drinks each, borrow someone else's open mind, and read chapters to each other. bring your sense of humour, and before you start arguing, before anything blows up, just remember this. "just how seriously do you take yourself?" you don't have to be right. you don't even have to know someone who is right. yer've just got to come to a working compromise.

my definition of rich: when someone asks you what you really want for your birthday, and you have absolutely no idea, because you already have everything you want. i was rich once....

fuck my life

nuthin interesting to report.

got totally annoyed trying to download a coupla songs last night. rudie can't fail, by the clash, and armagideon time, by the clash :-) . eventually got them. and also decided i had to have an original. thanks amazon.com.

i was amazed by the amount of corrupted downloads though. does no-one listen to the shit they download? i musta downloaded 30 versions of the same song. after 30 seconds they'd repeat from the start. i figured the only way to beat that is to delete all the shitty ones i downloaded and make sure the good ones are left.

in a moment of weakness i wanted to download a song by robbie williams - radio. ok, yes, he was in one of them lame boy bands. but i like this song. sure, he sings a lot of shit, but he's got 1 or 2 good songs i reckon. so anyway, back to the story, every single song i managed to find was blank. the record companies apparently swamped the peer to peer network with shit. (well thats what i heard anyway. i'm not infallible, i was wrong once...)

not working tonight. cause i've gotta work tomorrow night. which sucks. sure i like the money. but i work all week and they pay me for that. i don't particularly enjoy doin overtime. ok, yes, i'm in the computer industry, it goes with the territory. but i'd rather kick back and relax. so i'm not working every gosh darned night of the week. i don't live to work. i work so i can buy toys. the one who dies with the most toys wins. (must pay off frikking credit card!!)

time to update wishlist....

i really need a (working) motorcycle. i am so fucking fractious (i think that's the word anyway - how about champing at the bit?) i was thinking of one of those kawasaki zrx1000's. big and fast, no fairings. or maybe an old cb1100r, no fairings, a bit of late model running gear on it. seen a few when we were racing forgotten era. totally cool. nothing like watching your rider (i was crewing) overtake a really late model BIG superbike on his 20 year old pig. heh! a friend of mine has a bimota DB1. she was even featured in streetbike once. rotten woman. i am insanely jealous. i managed to talk her out of selling a lil while back. i figured if it was mine, i'd never forgive myself. but i'd settle for an mv augusta or an rv mille :-) or if i win the lotto, a squalo. not posting the link for that. can't find the page i want, and it's too beautiful for a stupid thumbnail. here's a link to someone else's. but it's not the one i want.

i'll be dribbling for hours now. maybe that will take my mind off that blue eyed birdie (fat fucking chance)

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

the title described

i get a bit of amusement the way some people link to me.

if you're anything like me, you only put people in your list of links, so you can zoom down in firefox, right clicking on each one, and opening them in a new tab. so you can troll through the blogosphere at your leisure. dunno if anyone goes through my links to any of the stuff i read every day.

Dirk has the closest translation, he just says "big words". if he'd gone a step further and said meaningless big words, he'd have got it just right :-) MsCynic just says lunacy101, while Jonas, probably the first person to link to me (which surprised the shit out me that anyone would link to me) succintly just says "the rat" :-)

Niki actually writes out the whole title, Tony i thought had said "amphigoric m p", but i was either imagining it, or he's bored of reading it and removed me from the list :-) woops, my bad, now i'm an "old linker". presumably a fate reserved for older farts who keep on doing stupid things.

don't worry Zoe. whatever you put there, if anything, is just fine by me. hell, just put "some moron who linked to me one day when i wasn't looking", but i guess that's longer too isn't it ;-)

everyone else tends to vary between rat, the whole thing, or bits and pieces. it's all cool. (thanks Sue, Celestial Blue and House Husband (who's gone on hiatus, again)

nonsensical meaningless pointlessness (eg: sitting up after 12:30 on the computer, downloading the soundtrack from grosse pointe blank, eating cheezels. hmmm, cheezels all gone, time for bed!)

how embarrassment! a thousand apologies. and thanks to Hooch. amazed that anyone would link to me. so in a post where i troll the various linkers, i don't want to miss any. ya'all seriously need to find some more interesting reading :-)

hump day

but not much humping going on :-)

work, get paid, pay bills, ride bike, soccer training in the rain.

the ground has been mowed, so we got covered in grass. i went home and had a shower, but i'm still itchy.

and now i'm at work waiting for this feral system to install. i've had a bit of a bright idea. but unfortunately it's going to take a couple of hours and a dozen reboots to see if it's going to work. (or end up being a stupid idea after all) fucking microsoft's virtual server isn't doing exactly what i wanted it to do. surprise surprise surprise. so i'm trying to bodge up a solution, upgrade our exchange server, and get my boss off my back for about 30 seconds until a new pain-in-the-arse job comes along.

had to work on blue-eyed girl's computer today. what do you know, sometimes computers do have their uses :-) breathe in, breathe out. don't stuff up, don't be a goose, don't say anything more stupid than normal...

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

another pause of reason

another painful day. only exchanged brief words (email fuckit) with blue-eyed girl. so not a lot of positives. i'd cruise past her desk every day, but i think that's stalking. i get self conscious just thinking about it. then i got to drive all over the countryside. but i think it was grannies day out. everyone was doing 80kph in the 100kph zone. that would be cool except for the line-up from hell behind them. overtaking one car is easy. leap froggin from the back of the pack to the front is difficult. i refuse to overtake where i don't have good line of vision, and a snake of slow moving cars can be a huge obstacle. if you're having trouble keeping up to the speed limit, if it's all too hard for you love, then every 5 minutes, stop, revive, survive...

apparently in canada, every 5 mins or so are these lanes on the left for slow vehicles to move over into, so everyone can move along. no overtaking into on-coming traffic. sounds cool to me.

anyway. just watched one of my all time favourite movies. grosse pointe blank. it reminds me a little bit of my 10 year school reunion. everyone coming back with expecations. trying to be more than they are etc... romy and michelle's high school reunion and stuff. however the best bits of my 10 year reunion were seeing some of the annoying, nasty bastards, and some of the toxic shit that had happened to them.

i really hated school, especially high school. i have pitiful social skills. i don't fit in. everything i do is wrong. to this day i probably carry the stigma from that. someone once told me that school was the best years of my life. he was waaayyyy fucking wrong. it basically fits with my image of what prison must be like. a whole bunch of nasty cunts who enjoy making your life miserable, students and teachers alike. yes there were some good teachers, unfortunately you only had to be a mediocre teacher to shine like a fucking beacon in the fog... (mr stace, you're a cunt. if we ever meet again, i'll punch your fucking lights out)

i am so happy for my kids that they are happy with school. it's a whole lot better than what it was.

anyway, grosse pointe blank. totally cool. at my 10th year of escaping school (ok, it was 10 years from year 10, but the smarter buggers left in year 10, and they wanted to include them....) we had a reunion. caught up with the friends that i see anyway, and a few decent people. and quietly rejoiced that some of the nastier arseholes weren't there, were dead, or were working in kmart.

my ex-wife started a food fight with my friends. makes me grin to this day :-) one of my best mates threw a peanut at her, so she picked up the bowl and threw the lot back. i've got good taste in women, unfortunately the women i'm interested in have good taste as well, they don't put up with me for long...

i missed my 20th year reunion. didn't hear about it until too late. then i was working that weekend already, and anyone i really wanted to catch up with wasn't going to be there anyway. the 30th could be fun...

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