Wednesday, April 14, 2004

just another shitty day in paradise

sleeping in, going to the beach, tooling round in my sister and brother-in-law's mgb with the kids. i should work less and holiday more!

trolling through the padi job market i see heaps of job opportunities for divemasters and instructors who speak german or russian. maybe i should go back to school and see if i can get the fuck out of dodge city for a year, and work overseas teaching german and russian tourists how to dive. that could be fun.

one of my best mates, has yet again, organised another blind date for me. i shouldn't go along with it. we have such different tastes in people and our outlooks to life. he wants me to move up to sydney and make big bucks selling real estate with him. i just can't be bothered. i like my lifestyle at the moment. but i'll admit i'm a pathetic enough loser to take any opportunity to get back into the kind of relationship i once had. bleah. how depressing is that.

and to be perfectly honest. i am completely unready to be in another relationship. i love the stability and comfort of being in a relationship. ok, i'll admit it, the sex as well. but i really don't have my shit together at the moment. sure i've also got the ready excuse that i'm constantly working and don't have the time between work and kids to fit another person in. but for the right person i'd find a way. but i am so disjointed at the moment i'd probably accept someone just because they were available, rather than because they were the right person. shit, i hope i remember all this crap when i'm sober. and have the balls to remember it when i meet someone who is interested.

in a complete turn around for me i actually was approached by a woman this year. she was attractive and successful and stuff. we had a date, but i really did have it together then. we weren't compatible, and i managed to tell her, hopefully in the right way. maybe i did tell her in the right way, i didn't get any hate mail or anything like that. i think the older i get the more my standards go up, which is a pity really. because if i find someone who meets my standards, i don't have a hope in hell of meeting hers. but if i meet someone who doesn't meet my standards in a really big way, i'll probably go along with it anyway, and make a complete disaster out of the situation.

life is messy. except around me, then it's clumsy and messy. drat!

gah! enough whinging. it's boring

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