amphigoric macoronical pointlessness

hump day over again

and thank the gods for that. my project is being very painful, and so is the boss. i mean, he wants results and he wants them yesterday.

so after work i went for a drive in my sister and brother-in-law's mgb. it's a great way to unwind. not as good as going for a surf though, but definitely up there. only i never drive it with the top on. stuff that. if the weather is bad so i can't take the top off, then it stays in the shed. :-)

played soccer tonight, played like shit, but that's ok. i'm the oldest on the team so i'm allowed to.

newsflash

my sister has just come in to tell me my show is on. get this, it's called hamish and andy, or something like that. i have to break with anonymity (until this scrolls of the page into blog world's /dev/null) and say that's mine and my brother's names. so we have been ringing up each other 5 mins telling each other how much the opposite character sucks etc....

and someone i know is gonna hate this, they just did a frikken pretend interview of paris and nicki hilton, and there was a bindy hilton in there as well. it's a bloody crac!

and they started off with my pet hate :-) they said they were going to do a reality show, but apparently there is a law on australian tv, there can only be 20,000 reality shows in one year, so they just missed out.

ok, maybe it's not funny, i don't care. i think it's funny. well mostly funny. it's better than when russell gilbert did his show anyway.

just another stupid day

i know it's not gonna be a good day when i wake up thinking it's wednesday, when it's still only tuesday.

on the good side though, got nothing on, on tuesday arvos. time for the beach. the bad side is that daylight savings has gone. i don't like surfing late in the evening, it is feeding time for the critters. sure i don't have to drag my hungover, blurry, lazy self out of bed early in time to get to work (assuming i make it on time anyway) but i love that extra hour in the water. usually i am so stuffed from paddling (you know the story, always in the wrong place at the wrong time, paddle out, paddle in, doh!) that i am out of the water long before the sun goes down. but tonight the sun had disappeared behind the trees on the shore and the moon was bright when i caught the last wave.

ok, that is partially (ok totally, no point blaming huey or mama nature for my shitty surfing skills) my fault. i said, next wave i go in. and i stuffed around, missed a coupla good waves, fiddle fiddle, fart fart, finally get a wave. huey only sent me about 10 good, "go-home" waves and i finally got the last one!

tested out my new el-cheapo steamer suit. it's too damn hot for this time of year. it may be cheap and nasty, but i have to either bite the bullet and buy a new springsuit, or just wear my old steamer, which not only doesn't float, but leaks like a sieve and acts like a sea-anchor sometimes when i duck under a wave and the zip comes undone. drat

listening to: orbital: technologicque
oh shit, no i'm not, it's good, but moby: landing has just come on. check the xxx soundtrack :-)

time to sign off and write to my sponsor kid. i am such a lazy shit. i'll type a thousand words before i write a hundred. but there is no way this little dude is gonna get internet access for a while yet.

how many times must i tell myself.... if it aint broke, don't fiddle with it!

i thought: "i'll just republish my blog to a different location, then change it back, no worries..."

eventually managed to get it to post to the new location, but when it came time to change back it got the shits and wouldn't publish. shit shit shit shit damn bloody

fortunately after logging off and logging back on again the damn thing fixed itself. (don't fiddle, don't fiddle don't fiddle, mumble mumble)

update

well that was fun. up to the gong for a bit of a climb at hangdog climbing gym, then thai afterwards. pity about the long drive home afterwards. i should have robbed a bank on the way home, got no fingerprints left after sanding them all off with my shitty climbing technique. i finally got rid of one of my excuses for poor climbing as well, i bought some new climbing shoes. it's always important to have a ready made excuse for climbing badly. i'll have to think of a new one

what a weekend. another cool group of divers, this time from canberra.

saturday morning started with a bit of drizzle, but didn't seem to dampen anyone's spirits, but by lunchtime the sun was peeking through the clouds. managed to get in 3 dives, including a night dive. shot heaps of photos, only a couple turned out, but that's pretty normal. the visibilty wasn't too great, about 10 metres, would have been more except for all the suspended snot in the water. finally managed to get a picture of a weedy sea dragon. i'll have to post it later. of course i was the only one who didn't get to see all the squid all over the place. doh!

sunday morning was lovely and bright, (urrgggghhhh bright lights, bright lights, where headache tablets!) and everyone had fun again. clear warm water. after their last dive they were all ecstatic, some of them were doing a photo course and they really had good conditions for it. on the last dive they managed to find a heap of red indian fish. these are quite difficult to find (well for me anyway) and they were all pretty pleased with themselves.

now i think i need a few drinks and some sleep! daylight savings finished today, so i get an hours sleep in tomorrow! yay!

woohoo friday!!

off for a weekend of diving and fun. (i hope)

time to forget real work for a while and have fun behaving badly :-)

surfing cures everything

probably 4 foot swell, and seeing as it was breaking in the protected northern end of the beach, it was a bit bigger than that. lovely lumps breaking over the bommies on the horizon. cyclone grace, bring it on. (except for this weekend cause i'm on the diveboat doh!)

Jonah has it on good advice that it's 10 foot up his way. couple of cool places down here if it gets that big, only i think you would need a helicopter to drop you into a few of them! ok for kelly slater though, getting a tow in with a jet ski up there at kirra. but then, even though he's a yank, he's a frikken good surfer, so mere mortals like me will just watch in awe. i liked the swellnet picture though. it looks so little from the shore hehehehe where is miami anyway? i thought that was in the usa? must be a goldcoast thingy.

got out with grot no 2 for a paddle anyway. being the paranoid parent i am i was a bit nervous, but even in dredging 4 foot surf, they were well spaced and i could keep an eye on him. caught a few nice little waves, and got myself hammered a coupla times as well. a few new dings in the board from my body and my head. doh! love those smooth 6 foot drops though :-)

hump day!

maybe i need a new title for today :-)

another day, another whinge. my back is playing up, sulk sulk, whine whine. physio tomorrow for repairs.

friends of mine want me to go with them on a ski trip to new zealand this year, i want to go to, but being in my usual state of financial disrepair i can't afford to do that, and go to the uk to visit my sister as well. gotta pick one or the other, so i'm going to the uk. really gotta learn how to budget again.

i'm trolling the net looking for cheap "around-the-world" flights cause a mate of mine reckons he has got one of them for about $1300 and he just picks 5 stops. i could stop in en-zed for a ski, switzerland (finally worked out which country in europe that starts with an "s") to visit a friend who is moving there, the uk, and 2 other spots.

definition of probably turned into an alcoholic over christmas:
has one middy of beer at the club before coming home, no problem. drinks the last remaining beer in the fridge. drinks the last glass of wine out of sister's "chateau le-cardboard" wine. then finds some port and has a glass of that. woops!

wednesday morning, wakes up, hmmm, alarm hasn't gone off yet, can still sleep. glance at alarm clock, 7:50am (and i start at 8:00). DOH! oh well, late again.

stupid bunnies

driving home from this padi update seminar doodad, and in the middle of the road is some kind of animal, so i slow down and then stop. stupid bunny then proceeds to run round and around in circles before heading off the side of the road. hmmm, they are vermin, drat, shoulda ran over it. oh well. no good to kill stuff indiscriminately.

a couple of k's further up the road, a fox runs across the road. sure i usually go through the world with blinkers on, but these and a couple of dead ones on the side of the road are more than i ever see. so i actually drive home at and under the speed limit for the first time in ages. the last thing i need is to hit a wombat or a kanga-walla-thump and tear half the front of the car apart. it's falling apart under me as it is.

finally finished my damn divemaster assignment. i am so frikken happy to see the end of it! now of course it's more money, for application, membership fee, yearly insurance, etc... oh well. it's a good career thingy, even if i don't do much with it, i've learned enough from it to be better at, and get more fun from, my weekend job.

money... bleah!!

now just got to sort out what the hell i'm doing with all these trips that are on offer this year, like which one to go on, cause i can only afford one of them :-( (well i can't afford either, but i'm gonna do one anyway hehehe)

the roller coaster continues

what a weekend. i'm still on a high. our weekend away in port stephens was an amazing success. on the surface, a weekend away, about a 7 hour drive up when you have to contend with sydney traffic, and a 4.5 hour trip back, and only 2 shore dives, doesn't seem the greatest. but it was grand.

friday finds us at gerringong. el presidente gives us a radio so we can talk to him (but only line of sight, gees, get a mobile phone man!). so i'm practicing my kooky truckker talk. "breaker breaker, this is mary the fairy in my big pink truck." or "moon unit, moon unit, this is mission control, where the hell are you?"

we also manage to make what is probably a new record for the most consecutive u-turns trying to find the rent-a-house in the dark at port stephens. what frikken town planner has let them have 2 streets with the same name? idiots. needless to say, there was the usual amount of sarcasm directed at mutant moron traffic, especially on the way back when i'm driving. "get off the road grandad", "keep left grandma, it's a 110 zone and you're doing 90 in the right lane". "oh yeah, well done grandad, pull out into traffic going 100kph, and only do 60kph, we love that." "what are those strange things on the side of your car, be they mirrors?"

ok, saturday. the sun is up, the weather is just perfect. we are doing the morning "high tide" dive. and we stuff up, we get in too early, and going with the tide is really easy, but when it's time to swim back, we're going against the tide, and it's hard yacka. being the lasy sod that i am, i don't do much finning, i prefer to streamline myself, do just enough to move a little forward, and also move sideways into the shallows, there the tide will be swirling and stuff.

but apart from that, the life, the diving, the ... other... stuff.... you're not allowed to fish here, or anchor your boat etc... there are about a 100 bream and snapper waiting for us. in water 3 foot deep as we put on our masks and fins. friends of mine complain. every time they try to photograph the colourful local fish life or corals or other stuff, some stupid fish is swimming into your face or your camera, or both. "hey scuba dude, whatcha doing? take my picture" but if you try to shoot them, they bugger off or otherwise be annoying. and the nudibranchs at this dive spot, colour colour colour. lots of it.octopus, cuttlefish, more octopus, groper (thats a fish, not a scuba diver at the bar afterwards), stripeys and lotsa fish that are fish, and other stuff that i don't know what they are called.

another epic dive club weekend away. but wait, there's more!

sunday morning arrives, fortunately high tide is a little later this morning as i installed a little hangover last night and more sleep is definitely a big help. i've gone to the fridge last night for a beer, and there's only one left, i drank that many? doh! time for bed!

it's a little windy but the shore dive we are doing, halifax point, is sheltered as the wind is blowing offshore. how many people are there here? the local dive club, among others, is diving here today. there must be nearly 50 divers, but the site is fairly big, we don't see many people underwater. ran into a couple of people i know before the dive and they told us where to go to see good things.

it's the maiden voyage for my camera as well, i nervously duck it beneath the water and check for leaks, soon i relax and start madly shooting things. and there is so much to see! bream, snapper, stripeys, the list goes on. we find some small wobbegong sharks, octopus. a cute little green moray and some other morays, i don't know what sort but i got them on my camera! took a little movie of a cuttlefish, which was madly flashing different colours to try and scare me off. i can't settle myself on the bottom anywhere to take a picture because i'll crush something. this is such a busy site. my buddies are constantly pointing out stuff to shoot. at the end we see a school of drummer, and they are big too. but i'm too slow to photograph them. drat.

i hear a noise and look up, it is raining, i love watching the rain from underneath. and a large school of tiny fingerlings under the surface as well, confusing the image. i shoulda took a picture! doh!

i am so exhausted i can hardly drag myself out of the water. it's bucketing down as well. everyone is so excited, the locals as well as us, we are all talking to each other about the cool stuff we saw. it's raining so much i think my gear was washed by the time we got to the car. we jam everything in, in a big hurry so we don't get wet (hehe) and back to the house for a warm shower before heading off for the long drive home.

i will definitely be back for this next year.

hump day again

it's all downhill and cruising from here. i'm taking the rest of the week off, don't feel like working :-)

my friend is over from south australia and tomorrow we're going to have a game of flog (that's golf spelt and played backwards). i usually play about once every 2-3 years. usually with my brother. his golf bag holds, not only golf clubs, but a full case of beer, plus ice. we go out to coolangatta and play their 9 hole course. he reckons you can go around and around as many times as you want. so we do. we go round once. after that i'm all flogged out for another few years. and i only take 9 or 10 golf balls so i've run out of balls as well.

then i've gotta go to the nations crappy capital to drop him off at the airport, try and get in a surf somewhere in between, then friday about lunch i'm leaving with another group to go to port stephens diving for the weekend. gonna try and catch up with the pro dive mob up there while we're at it. they were on the boat about a month ago, and they really know how to party :-) hello hangovers!

damn, one of the guys here just got me a beauty. i'm meant to be listening to the help desk phone (and answering it if it rings) while the help desk lady is off doing something. so i'm lost in my own little world and i hear this ringing, oh shit! i'm meant to be answering that, so i pick it up and it's one of the other techs, he just says: "you're a dick!" drat! got me! so they all have a lovely giggle at my expense.

oh yeah, and happy st patrick's day! i hope everyone remembers to wear green. ok, i don't have much green, so green undies and green socks! and a few guiness at the pub after work :-)

spanish bombings and me havin a sulk

how terrible is it. we have forgotten so soon about 200-ish people and made them into a political statement.
on the political statement, i prefer the aussie line that i've seen so far. we appreciate that it is a potential "seen-as-a-terrorist-win" situation, but don't buy into the popular news crap and see the potential that not only might zapatero have won anyway, he might actually be the best man for the job. when commenting on others blogs i missed out saying that a lot of voters were actually annoyed with the current govt because they lied to them in what seemed as an obvious electioneering stunt. stating that the bombings were eta rather than admitting they didn't know where they'd originated from.
gees, who believes terrorists anyway, they could have been eta but the al querrido claimed responsibility for the confusion factor.

200 dead people.i couldn't give a flying fuck if they were spanish, vietnamese, innuit or even...even... yankees. they were just people, lives and loves, potential to enjoy themselves and harm noone. fuck fuck. i can't even think of a decent swear word or phrase that says how fucken annoyed i am. everyone dies anyway, and some fucken stupid tool with no frikken idea of happiness, love or fun has removed this chance from them. i curse you, your name, and whatever fucken afterlife you believe in. i hope you burn in hell for a shitload to make you realise what a fucken arse you are.
but not for eternity and i don't even believe in hell anyway. i dunno what i believe in. i'm just venting. fuck. i wish the stupid stupid stupid, ignorant, dumb, ok, really really dumb, like, so dumb that they can't think of cause an effect, or even love their own children, dumb fucken pricks who promote this shit, convince some impressionable young 17 yr old to go and blow themselves up, will get, like, at least a year or so of burning in hell type annoyance. even if it's just having to work on the fucken helpdesk for a year for penance.

none of them old buggers do the suicide bombing shit do they? even if they do, GAH! it's such a nasty evil piece of work, i feel like vomiting.

wouldn't that be right, i end up as woodstock, who, for amusement, goes ice skating on the frozen drink fountain. i suppose it could have been worse, i could have been charlie brown!


You are Woodstock!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

the young endeavour was cruising around the bay on saturday as well. pity i still haven't worked out how to use my camera properly. maybe i'll read the instructions :-)

the rain in spain, falls mainly,..... on the dirt

another super groovy weekend.

a friend of mine has been trying to talk me into moving to sydney and making money for ages. of course it involves long hours, selling real estate, working weekends, and having mid week days off.

well that's ok, but mid week days off makes it hard to get the kids. and to be perfectly honest, i'm flying at the moment. life doesn't get much better than this i think. i mean, i'm really enjoying myself. sure i'd like to have a special girlie to enjoy it with (no ambiguity here, i don't want a "significant other" i want a girl who likes having the same fun i do, and yeah, can put up with my annoying traits)

but life is good. i'm seeing the kids more often than ever, and they love spending time with me. that alone makes me stop and think. grot D has been more interested in other things, until recently, but now we're making a real bond. and kid L, who loves to spend time with me always, is starting to mature a little i think, and i'm excited (ok and a lot scared) about them reaching maturity. i can't be away from this. job, work, whatever. these little dudes really make my little world go round.

my "pay the bills job" is getting more and more bearable. good workmates, which is probably the only reason i've stuck it out this long. fortunately they don't read this so i can praise them without fear. they are super cool, one dude is still coming out of his shell, been a bit painful up to now, but now he's decided to fit in, and actually be painful, he's more fun. go figure. one has returned after a brief stint with a contractor to another company, saw the light and returned to the good side of the force, and the others, well, extroverted, semi-crazy, bright, and i mean really bright, lunatics. eg: monday morning, i'm feeling like shit, lunatic no 1 arrives, he's brought red bull, we drink, cokes in fridge, we drink, throw stress balls, shoot rubber bands, gibber gibber. hehehehe

and my weekend work is really really groovy. when i first started weekend work on a live-aboard dive boat, it was cool and different. and then when i found my feet, after a while i felt like, sunday arvo? ok, i'm ready for my own bed, sleep and to go home. but another deckie, "aka super tart" has learned me different. i could easily do 20 days straight i reckon, i just get in the groove, and enjoy the moment, and then it's time to go home now. and with the group we had this weekend Dive 2000, i'd stay on for over a month. ok, it's hard yakka, by the end of the day, you're stuffed, but you press on, 11:30 (or maybe 2:30) you fall asleep. every morning you are worn out, but it is so much fun, you have to continue!

my face is sore this afternoon, i've been laughing all weekend. good company, interesting diving (ok snorkelling, my hand has not yet healed), meeting interesting people, cute chikies. cute chickies running through the boat in bikinis, but really, they are just wonderful people. Kevin and Cherie Deacon, the people who own Dive 2000 and the funnest, coolest, grooviest people. If you're in Sydney and you want to go diving, go and find them and go diving. if you want an overseas holiday, well after finding out what we're doing, find out what they are doing. it's always something cool.

ok, this weekend. the weather is a little overcast. the sun pokes thru occasionally, but the water is still lovely, and very clear. over the weekend the divers see some small grey nurse sharks, eagle rays, all sorts of nucibranchs, rays, angel sharks, juvenile blue devil fish, etc... after each dive these divers come up and say, "that was the best dive ever" only to change their mind the next dive.

Kevin is running an underwater photo course. this guy is easily in the top 5 of the australian underwater photographers, arguably number 1 or 2. his students, or when we do a photo competetition, the competitors, always learn a lot. and he has the coolest stories, i have to take a tape recorder on next time and prime him with a few drinks so i can write them down. i don't give a shit about getting rich, but sharing these wonderful yarns! awesome!

i spend only a little time on the scooter. should have been none, each time the sore on my finger opens up, but i have to go for a zoot. buzzing divers, annoying fish, and generally enjoying the clear water and life in general.

heading back to huskisson to drop off the divers, we have dolphins cruise in and ride our bow wave for absolutely ever. they are so cool. ok, thats cool, i could lay here for hours, and then this bombshell cute chicky comes up and lays on the deck next to me to watch them also. crap, what do i watch? cool chicky? cool dolphins? i try to strike intelligent conversation, but i'm not real good at it. watch cool dolphins playing and fighting in the bow wave of the boat.

life, be in it. this really makes my weekday work look bad! i have this feeling, life is good. and it can only get better. i'm waiting with baited breath to see how.

well today certainly hasn't turned out as expected.

i got to work late, no big surprise there. anyway i'm bumbling my way through the day when a friend of mine rings up at around 9:30. "where are you?" he says. "I'm at work". "I thought you were going to come and pick me up?" he says.

woops, he's at the canberra airport. i thought he was arriving on sunday. drat and double drat. bugger off from work and get myself over there. i get there around 12:00 and we have lunch with a mate who lives over there, have a sticky beak at all the cute girlies wandering around the mall, then get in car and zoom back here to drop him off at his sister's house and get myself ready for work.

on the way over i had 3 get out of jail free experiences, 1st highway patrol guy isn't interested in me cause i'm only doing 120, the second one i saw before he saw me, cause he parked badly in the bushes and i could see the left side of his car before the radar doodad in front of him could line me up. stab brakes, breathe sigh of relief. the next one is booking someone else. hehehe

and the damn traffic, gees, every grannie and her old camper wagon was out on the road. and they have the manners of a 3 year old (ie: none) heaps of places where they can pull over to let the huge line of people thru, i mean, they are doing 30kmh in a 60 zone. i'd just watched the car in front of me do a suicidal overtaking maneouver 5 mins before, so it was no surprise to see him do it again to this particular one. as i overtook (finally) i had a sticky beak. some old fart, lost in space, mirrors? what mirrors. traffic? what traffic.

that's my whine for the day anyway. heaps of them on the way up and back.
time to get ready and go.

have a good weekend!!

wine appreciation 101

(not)
round to mum and dad's with a bottle of wine from my hunter valley winery trip last year. should be good for a free feed hehehe

dad drinks half a glass and pours it down the sink.

i survive 2 glasses (my wine limit anyway) and think it's as bad as everything else i've ever tried (like i'm a wine connoisseur anyway, and yes i looked that up). so back to beer (it's safer!)

then we are arguing about natural and synthetic corks. so i have to cut a bit off this one and burn it, and in the middle is fungus looking black bit, woops. no wonder it tasted funny, just shows i really have no taste. then we burn it, and yes i manage to stink the house out hehehe and yes, its a natural cork.

apart from that, today has been a bit of a "day that finished, and nothing traumatic or stupid happened" which is always a bonus :-D cause usually the stupid things that happen in my life are my fault!

i checked out this blog (waitress dreams) today, and her whole list of reasons NOT to post, "the blog promise", pretty much equalled the reasons i do blog. so beware. or in the immortal words of billy connelly, describing the queensland coast:

"the sign said, Beware!..... Stingers!"

picture Billy looking around the stage and jumping at imaginary threats "so I'm be-ing ware!"

anyway, her "blog promise":
1. I promise to post only when I have something to say.
2. I promise to try not to bore the shit out of you with my incessant whining.
3. I promise to keep my self-serving bullshit to a dull roar.
4. I promise that I'll never blog naked.

ok, i promise never to tell you if i blog naked! the rest? not a chance, that's all this is anyway!

music of the moment:

madonna - frozen

ok, yes, madonna, shoot me. i love her music, she is wierd yes, but i love her music.
this song reminds me of a woman i knew (and no, she was definitely not frozen). drat, another one that got away. shit.
anyway *grin*. it's very evocative to me, and so is she. you gotta listen to it the right way. but maybe you've also gotta be a boy. girls, hear the wrong bits. girls ears, girls eyes, they are very critical of themselves. while we boys just see and hear their lovely selves.

i hear the potential for loss, and the strength of love of this person who feels the loss. wanting, feeling, giving. i think if a girl can also feel like that, perhaps love is the thing we very different creatures have in common. and she always has very good, evocative, strong and powerful music. not like some of the painful singers lately who just like to hear their own voices.

hump day again

i'm really good at thinking up titles aren't i (not).

we broke in the stress balls today with a lovely little stress ball fight. me and my co-worker who'd collected them all started it off by throwing about 10 of them at our other co-worker who'd managed to get only one. so that gave us a bit of a giggle, pity the boss was looking over the partition at the time....ooops....

oh well, went to the hospital to get a second opinion on my finger, no stiches (thank god i hate needles) but got little breathable sticky things all over it. no surfing until it's better, and no diving either. i can take it off for a lookie on saturday, but if it's not better, wait another week.

oh well, we're going away diving the following weekend, i'll just have to whinge and moan on here in the meantime hehehe

now for soccer training...(expect whinging and moaning update about being old unfit)

update:
ok, i'm not going to whine about being old. i survived. i'm a bit stiff and sore but i'll live. a few coldies are making me feel rather mellow.

hehehe just put a couple of beers in the freezer to get cool :-) my sister (house and fridge/freezer owner) has made me use a portable timer so i won't forget them!

another cruisy day

managed to get to work late again, cést la vie. accomplished a bit, didn't fall further behind.

finish work, ok, it's hot. and there's a hot westerly wind blowing, and the car is an oven. pick up grot D from maccas, grab surfboard and head to the beach, picking up grot L on the way, she wants to come for a paddle.

we find a nice little spot (with nice little waves so the paranoid parent doesn't worry about not being able to see grots from behind the breakers) and paddled out. L says she got dumped by 2 huge waves. ok, they were tiny, but that's ok, she survived and had fun and stuff. D has had fun also, so all in all a successful afternoon.

drop off the kids, i'm on time so no stress there, and head back to smellsville where its hot and sticky. chore number one, clean out beer from freezer where some silly git left a few beers in there to chill and forgot all about them, on friday last week doh! then service scuba gear, which is ready for it's annual service (performed once every 3 years usually) so i can go diving this weekend.

veg out, sleep.

update:

stupid frikken klutz. shit damn bloody.

getting right in to the whole fridge cleaning business, getting out glass and semi frozen beer, no worries. go to grab a piece of ice and drag it out, and lo and behold there's a shard of ice in there and i stab my goddamn self in the base of my ring finger. (oh well don't need the frikken thing anyway)

so i ring up the on call rent-a-quack. of course my real doctor isn't the on-call doctor tonight, so i spend 5 mins trying to understand some indian guy. i give up and go and see mum'n'dad. no worries they reckon, band-aid'll fix it. don't need stitches.and their gibbering and carrying on. do i want dinner? (while mum is sticking bandaids on and dad is poking my damn finger) no thanks. got stuff to do. sure you don't want dinner? ect ect.... and then it's getting a bit much. i'm feeling a little light headed like the last time i had blood taken after somone smashed me off my motorbike. so i escape with my life and my finger.

i was gonna be good this week. start my whole "no drinking during the week program", geez even my brother has managed to start it. (cause i've been a bit naughty since christmas, now in the mornings i troll thru the blogs i read to make sure i didn't post any stupid comments under the influence - well more stupid/lame than normal)

but screw that, i feel like a tooheys or two!

more update:

fuckety fucken fuck fuck fuck

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, shit damn bloody

oh well, stupid fucken fridge needed defrosting anyway, fuck it. fuck fuck fuck.

ok *grin* back to your regular scheduled broadcast now i've got all that out
(drat, probably gonna get a heap of hits from people surfin for pron now)

another stupid update:
according to mr gooley, my yr 7 or 8 (or both) science teacher, the sharpest knife we have is freshly broken glass. fuck. fuck. fuck. shit.
when i was a kid we had topics that were banned from dinner table discussion (probably too long winded and painful for parents), included pool stories (like: when i was at the pool i dived so far and swam underwater so long ect...) and most importantly, mr gooley stories. it got banned when i had him, then again as the siblings filtered through hehehe one of the world's repositories for tall stories, useless information, and mad fun ways to teach kids. eg: learning wave motion by stretching the shit out of a slinky from one end of the lab to the other, and making waves, or blowing up hydrogen and oxygen balloons in the middle of the science block.

just another manic monday

well i shouldn't complain, hows that. the best monday i've had in, um, a bit.

must have been someone's "have a good week wishes" cause i'm having a good week and determined to hang on and enjoy the ride.

7:15am: alarm clock goes off, no worries, i've set it for 6:45, i can snooze a bit. woops, no you didn't, you set it for 7:15, ah stuff it, snooze anyway.

7:25am: 10 mins later, it goes off again, snooze for 10 mins...

7:45, hmmm, maybe i should get out of bed. after all, i do start at 8:00! get out of bed, shower, brekkie, dress...

fortunately in a complete frenzy of being enthusiastic and stuff, the ironing is all done. trousers, shirt, all ready to go, tie with silly fish on it and i'm ready to go. go to car to go to work, get out of car, take surfboard out of car and put in house, get back in car, go to work.

8:30, arrive at work.... woops.

ah stuff it, mondays are meant to be painful, so i throw myself immediately into work. lets see now, scan all the cool blogs i read each morning, read the online comics, fix the backup tapes, then the deluge starts. apart from all the stuff i should have been doing, one of the departments at work has moved or reshuffled or something. like this one girl, she's been moved to a new desk, 2 weeks later, they move her again. i love it.

usually i try and fix everything by remote control. that way i can troll the net while i work. but i've managed to find a few that won't play today, so up and down the stairs like a yoyo. i don't want to stay up there because they are all so busy and enthusiastic, i'm getting worn out watching the silly buggers.

then down and up the stairs to the goddamn computer room because the backups are giving me grief, and some loony has deleted something he shouldn't, and some other loony has a corrupt word document (wish the silly pricks would coordinate their stupidity, save me a trip to our offsite backup location, 4 trips in total). whatever, i don't care, it's nicer out of the office than in it. i've got to drive to our offsite storage to retrieve the tapes to do the job, and its nice out. the sun is shining, people are smiling. don't they know it's monday!? sick people!!

note to self: be nice to stupid applications developers (latest frikken desc. for programmers). i've had to ask one of them to setup a new user for some application. surprise surprise surprise, there's no documentation so i can't do it. (when you write these dumb apps, write a frikken interface so i can add new users)(shit, i hope they don't read this) gotta get them to modify a stupid database, whatever, like i care. but he has this cool tie. i go: "oh wow, you've got a jetson's tie?" he says "you like it? you can have it". woohoo! (ok, he did owe me a tie after i gave him this stupid musical christmas tie for a christmas party, it matched my own hehehehe)

it's now i realise this is a cool monday, and a cool monday, means a cool week. me and my new jetsons tie, we are going places. imagine the noise of the little jetsons' flyer thingy everywhere i go today. pity only the gay guy in the canteen noticed it. drat! not even this cool chicky who likes my dumb digital photos notices. (no i haven't inflicted my scooter pic on her yet, it's easier to annoy people online who i don't know, and siblings who troll the site, hehehe sorry).

have you ever been talking to someone, and had to constantly hit rewind and go back and replay, cause you're watching their eyes, and her eyes are flicking from my left eye to my right eye and back again, over and over, and i keep forgetting what i'm saying, and they are blue eyes... gibber gibber, i am an idiot.

ok, work manages to disappear in a haze of normal stupidity, but i don't care, i'm cruising and having fun. knock off time, i finalise a couple of chores i'm working on, and contact a few people so the others can be sorted out first thing tomorrow.

in the commondore and i'm out of here. dump craptop, work clothes, pick up surfboard and clothes and head for the beach. ok, point A is crap, but it's blowing north-easter, perfectly expected. (drat drat drat, blowing west in town, how cool would that have been, anyway....) pick up grot number 2 who is mad keen to come for a paddle, head for surf spot B.

the good thing about this spot is that the surf (which is big at the moment), is usually always a bit smaller, especially when its ne swell, plus if the wind is ne, it's not onshore, but kind of across shore, so you have to paddle against the wind or when you get out you have to walk about a kilometre to get back to the track through to the car. grot 2 has a great time and catches some waves. i surf like normal, ok that's shit, but i'm having fun, i don't care.

get out, and run into a mate from the diveclub, he's been out for a surf too. yack a bit about surfing and diving, and stuff. later dude, drive out. look at watch, oops, shit, doh! get on phone to ex, we're on the way! fortunately when we get there she's not pissed off so we avoid a nasty moment and all is cool.

round to mum's for a beer and a yack. grandma is there so while mum and dad are going on a bit i get some cool yarns about body surfing in the 30's and other grandma stuff. grandma isn't gonna be with us forever, she's 87, err, 87ish, had a heart bypass doodad (out of hospital in 3 or 4 days, i kid you not, she is tough) and has been through it all. but, well ok i'm selfish, i don't want to see what happened with the other grandparents. i never got to hear them tell me about their lives. the cool stuff they got upto. her husband was the only one i heard much from, but only for a coupla weeks a year. now she lives down here i want to tap into all that history and stuff. otherwise i'll only get mum and dad's version. sure that's ok, but mum's mum (other grandma) corrected her a few times, and dad's mum (this one) has got some cool yarns. i'll have to write some down.

groovy day. fun at work, jetson's tie, surfing with the grot, chillin with me nan. how good is that. to quote michael caton: "how's the serenity". the rest of the week is gonna be good.

oh too cool. grot number 2. ok, lets say D, has just rung up. he'd rather surf tomorrow than play squash if it's nice. woohoo!

playing in the sand

well today was fun. watched 3 of our diveclub members fishing out rubbish from the fish pond at the lady denman museum. lots of big fish in there, big flathead, blackfish, bream, flounder, and other fishy type fish. 3 divers, 3 digital cameras, gonna be a lot of pictures turn up out of this.

a fair bit of garbage as well. fishing line (fishing is not allowed, but people still try), plastic bags, babies dummies would you believe, and a swizzle stick, among other things.

then off to mum's for a bbq, then out to the beach for soccer training. running on the beach. sounds good. doh! first a gentle warm up jog on the beach. gasp gasp, stretch. then jog back, gasp gasp gasp. we are running around a square, then some sprint training. we have to be the first to pick up a plastic cone about 20 metres away. the first time no-one else is running for my cone, and the second, and the third. shit i'm stuffed. if you get one you should be allowed to stop. the first time i have to actually race someone for a cone i am beaten. thank god.

then we have a game of touch footy on the beach, one of the sidelines is the water. then a game of soccer with one of those oversized tennis balls. someone kicks the ball to me high, i'm going to head it, i wait, and wait, and move to head it, and it stops in the air and i miss it completely, it bounces past my knees. doh!

i was going to go for a surf afterwards, but i'm too tired, and the surf is too big! so i went home and went to church instead (the local rsl club for a few beers, otherwise known as the sunday sippers)

saturday sulk

well the only thing today had going for it was that it is saturday. there's no swell so i can't go for a surf. it's raining so the kids are stuck inside. and i'm still working on my stupid divemaster assignment. i will be so happy to see the end of it.

pizza for dinner then a dvd with the kids. "what a girl wants". it's my daughter's turn to pick, can't you tell? we've had it before though, it's not too painful. she likes to get movies she knows are good, even if that means getting the same one again. i think next time it should be my turn again :-)

the forecast for tomorrow isn't very good. more rain. oh well. i usually don't moan about the weather, i'm just irritated about this assignment. they are also saying that the swell will be huge tomorrow. which just figures. today is too small for me to surf, tomorrow will be too big! doh!

oh well, somewhere will be ok. try out my new wetsuit. or go where it's big and take a few pics of the loonies going out in big seas, and help out with the clean up australia day. the dive club likes to do something a little different, and do an underwater cleanup. this year they are cleaning out the fishpond at the lady denman museum, plus the surrounds as well. i've got the kids and won't be diving, so me and the tin lids will just be picking up rubbish that's lying around.

on the bright side, salam has resurfaced safe and sound.

back to your regular scheduled broadcast.

stress ball heaven

well we survived the microsoft seminar with what was left of our sanity intact.

it wasn't as bad as we expected either. usually the mornings are "death by powerpoint" while the most interesting/relevant topics are saved for last, in an attempt to stop people leaving early (like us poor fools who had a 2.5 hour trip home).

the introduction was the usual powerpoint crap, with 2 speakers attempting to break up the monotony by taking turns at reading the presentation from the screen, and introducing the 2 other speakers. i wish they'd spent 30 mins on this bit, instead of 90. one of the speakers, George Stathakopoulos, is the head microsoft product security dude. and it turns out that he's diving in jervis bay this weekend. i wonder if he's on our boat. i've warned the other deckies to give him an extra hard time if he is :-)

then they split us up into it pros (geeks) and developers (programmer geeks) and never the 2 shall meet. i pitied the developers, well for about 10 seconds, ours can be a painful lot, so it also gave me great pleasure to think that they, and not us, would be inflicted with this annoying, over enthusiastic, painful type speaker.

our speaker. Steve Riley (doesn't it just annoy the crap out of you with me adding randomn links?) was pretty damn good i thought. not too enthusiastic, didn't drone on, kept our attention even though we were hungover and needed sleep and a big caffeine hit. he also pretty much flicked thru the power point crap as quick as he could and pretty much gave us an interesting talk on each of the 3 topics. he said if we wanted, we could download the presentation etc... and he wasn't going to waste his time, and ours, by reading from the screen when we were perfectly capable of doing it ourselves. not bad for a yank.

plus he regaled us with mad tales of travel, working for microsoft, customer tales and stuff like that. like, for example, he's trying to get one customer base to use 10 letter passwords, with numbers in it. this one lady is resisting, she knows why it's a good idea and stuff, so he asks her, "why?". she says because she doesn't know any 10 letter words, especially with numbers in them. ok, dumb example, these always sound a lot better when someone else tells them.

or the fun he has with qantas and customs in general. i won't butcher any more of his stories.

he also told us that microsoft wasn't really after world domination, just the land bits. any software companies with their offices in the ocean would be safe.

in between presentations we got as much free food and free stuff as we could get our hands on. the usual cd collection of stuff that will sit on our desks for 12 months and never get looked at, no pamplets this time because i couldn't be stuffed, some free biros from hp cause microsoft didn't give us any this time, and stress balls!". one of our techs came back after the sydney session on wednesday and had one. she was very chuffed with herself and of course, wouldn't let us near it, or we'd nick it. i managed to score 8, and my coworker, who is a better scammer than me, got 10 and a stupid musical yoyo. (it's stupid because i didn't get one!)

i think the idea is that when you are stressed, you squeeze the ball or something. the way i use it is a little different. i bounce it against a wall or the roof until everyone has the shits. or if everyone is stressed, we throw them at each other and have a huge stress ball fight. at the end everyone is giggling and happy. (except the boss who has the shits, sucks to be him). our supply has depleted over the years, from the applications manager who stole one, saying we stole it from him (probably true) and generally getting lost. so we're armed and dangerous now.



on a more down to earth note. it appears that salam was in karbala during the explosions the other day. while i am of course sad that anyone perished during this stupid tragedy, i would be especially sad if the bagdad blogger was among them. i hope he's ok. he's responsible (or to be blamed) for inspiring me to write all my bullshit in here. and while i write a lot of crap, both here and in other people's comment boxes, it's a whole new world he opened up for me, and i like it and am happy to have had a little peek into other people's little worlds.

or course he's been known to just disappear for a little while and resurface when he's ready. and if he was there during it. he might feel like a bit of time out. who knows. especially what do i know. but i find his blog and riverbend's the most balanced and least, um, vitriolic? of the accounts i have read. especially the news. sure they've got issues and personal views, but i think they are a lot better accounts than many others we have seen.

enough babble. anymore beer and blogging, and i'll be here 'till midnight and it will be even worse crap that this, and i'll delete it all in the morning. lara croft - the cradle of life, beckons. :-)

off to see the wizard

well i'm off to the nation's capital. we've got a microsuck security conference thingy tomorrow and rather than get up at some ungodly hour to drive over there (it's about a 2.5 hour drive) we thought we'd drive over the night before. as it is we still have to get up early because it's starts at 8:00. i have a funny feeling we might be late...

got my new camera. woohoo! sony p10(gotta scroll down the right scrolly thing and hit the bottom one. mine's silver), underwater housing, extra battery, cute little carry case and about 3 zillion pages of instructions in japanese, chinese, russian, portugese, and of course, engrish. so while my coworker drives us to canberra, i'll be bludging and playing with my new toy

cyclone sex, and cyclone parties

ok, everywhere else in the world, i think that if a cyclone is coming, they just try and live it out. but not our Niki. she is a prime example of how our west australians, who have been being swamped by tropical cyclone monty (i reckon we should go back to the old method and name them all after girls) deal with the situation. they either go to cyclone parties, or my favourite, stay home and drink alcohol, eat junk food, watch DVDs and have Cyclone Sex.

i just love that. like i have this mental image. the house is in chaos, like a cyclone has been through it, and they are lying in the middle of it all, totally exhausted, and afterwards they apparently have the "cyclone cigarette"

but the phrase, "cyclone sex" really does it for me. i can just repeat it over and over. cyclone sex, cyclone sex, cyclone sex. why aren't i having cyclone sex?

if you've got a sec and want a giggle. read her blog. it's frikken hilarious. i should stop reading it at work (but i won't) because of the funny looks i get when i'm giggling and reading it. (cyclone sex, cyclone sex, cyclone sex)

i wonder, is it allowed to promote someone else's blog? oh well, i don't give a shit. get over there and check it out. it's a crac. and then when you're bored of that you can check out a canadian girl with a sense of humour and some snark in her as well. and if you really love snark, cruise on over to The Spin Starts Here very snarky, and extremely funny. Make sure you have protection though, if it's not on, it's not on, they love hurling abuse all over the place. and for the cultured people, booze and blogging, check out Jonas' blog pretty cool. laid back and interesting.

i like to read heaps of others, keeps me amused for the first 1/2 hour at work hehehehe. i'd be worried that the other blogs i read (see the thingy on the right) would get upset that i didn't promote them too, but no-one reads me anyway hehehehe but hey, don't forget our new yorker K-Dogg got a link from there to his new photoblog. pictures from a kooky scarey place (usa)

hump day and an ironing hangover

the middle of the week and i'm not ready for it. everything i'm doing is wrong and i've got the attention span of a goldfish. i keep forgetting what it is i'm meant to be doing. pity i was such a slack bum yesterday, cause i'm paying for it today as well.

i think when i'm rich, i'm going to pay someone else to do my ironing. the hangovers the next day are not fun.

at least it's payday. pity i spent it already. i have to make a serious effort this year to unscrew my financial situation. unfortunately, not only do i have the attention span of a goldfish, but the self restraint of a 3 year old. i want it all, and i want it now! so i've just gone and bought a digital camera and underwater housing. so all my weekend work is going to be paying for that until, um, june. drat.

whinge whinge whine whine. i got myself into a lovely cranky mood last night. it's too much effort to keep it up though. everyone i run into at work is in a happy chirpy mood (sick isn't it) and it's infectious. so i'm going to have to spend the rest of the day in a good mood.

well tuesday. not much to say about it. it's over, and i'm glad. of course after work is good. squash with kidlet number 2. i beat him but he's getting better. the little shit is starting to make me run and think about where i'm hitting the ball. fortunately he gets worn out after 2 games, so i play left handed and try and hit the ball to him, or easy shots he can run to. (no dobbing. i don't like letting the kids ever think i let them off. i want them to enjoy it when they beat me)

dinner at mum and dad's (relieved from my dish #2: stir fry) then home to tackle the chore mountain i've let build up. first chore, folding and ironing. and the only way to iron, is with at least a sixpack of beer and a video. the italian job (2). pretty good so far. it's been so long since i watched the original, i think i'll have to rewatch it next week, as an incentive to iron again!

and i'm super broke. managed to mismanage my finances the worst i've done in ages. gonna take me at least 3 months to dig myself out of this. that is, if i actually try to this year. the reason it is so bad is because i didn't want to last year, i was having too much fun. but then fun is good. i'm trying to restructure my fun to be cheaper. surfing is good, only i'm filling up the car nearly twice a week. gibber gibber whine whine. hehehe life is good, i don't give a shit about screwed up finances. i'll sort it out. it's gonna hurt. but in the meantime and while i do, still gonna have as much fun as i can.

and for the kid owning people out there, wanna know how to have fun? don't be spending $100 at some video arcade (well do it once, then never again) with the kids. keep a bag in the boot of the car. put a soccer ball, volleyball, frisbee, pump and a couple of tennis balls in there. you'll never be bored. i've got 30 year old mates i travel with occasionally, we always carry the same stuff. nuthin like playing with a tennis ball against the back of the rent-a-bus or with a frisbee. across a busy service station or in a deserted park.

before i inherited my instant family (still got it except for the wife) i never wanted to have kids. now i've got them, i'd never do it again without them. sure, they can be totally obnoxious, toxic, argumentative, painfull little shits. but they also can be the most fun. and if you aren't having fun, why are you here? i'm here to have fun.

ok, enough gibbering for one night. more ironing beckons!

hupdate

watched the end of the movie. bellisimo. ok, a little too "everything fell into place" and "the good guys won" but i'm not interested in reality. that was good. although i do enjoy a little "everything gone wrong" in a movie. although my favourite doesn't instantly spring to mind. maybe a movie review when i watch it again and remember.

mem and dad blew me totally out of the water last night. we were talking about friends and friendship. dad reckons friendship is a myth. it's just about similar people able to enjoy each other's company. but i don't exactly buy into it. i love the whole social aspect of friendship. now that, after 35 years, i've finally got at least half an idea how to interact with other people. but back to the subject, they said that they're closest friends, were us kids. i kinda thought it would be some really cool old dudes from the past etc... but it's us. sure i love them because they are our parents, totally mad/unscrewed but now i've been forced to think of them in a different light. i hope my kids think of me the same way...

unscrewed: eg: some god botherer (apologies to religious people. we have nothing against whatever religion you enjoy. just don't give it to me. especially don't knock on my door to tell me about it) knocks on the door and he tries to convert them to buddhism.

pet rant. how rude is it, you knock on someone's door, and launch yourself into some frikken spiel that allows no interruption. polite people are forced to break their mold and tell these fuckers to leave. by JINGO, my ex nearly broke some dumb fucker's foot in the door. silly woman always didn't slam it hard enough. my favourite of course, was the lads who fed them hash cookies and made them sick. ok, they got in trouble etc... with the law. but i reckon, for the sake of the common man, it was worth it.

interlude
what do you get if you cross a hell's angel with a mormon?
someone who knock's on your door and tells YOU to get fucked!
/interlude"

oh yeah, where was i going. dad managed, by extreme ingenuity, to get himself black banned by the 2541 postcode stupid door knocking jehovah's witnesses, mormons, and jesus h christ knows whatever other crazy people with religious door knocking ideals. by crikey, i think a couple of vaccuum salesmen got scared away as well. simply, he would try and convert them to buddhism. he'd invite the poor suckers in. (didn't give them any hash cookies though) and he's a very enthusiastic speaker. they couldn't get a word in edgewise. frikken poetic justice. i've only had limited dealings with them. i consider myself a polite person, but i am forced to break my training to get these stupid fucks to shut up.
ok, i wouldn't have done the whole hash cookie bit. i don't like to interfere with another human, even if they are a stupid, painful, son of a bitch, who doesn't understand "NO, please leave and get the fuck off my property you scarey suit and tie wearing, insurance agent appearring, arsehole". how hard is it arseholes. push hard enough and we're gonna push back. be thankful this is the worst that's happened. unless you think that this isn't as bad as a couple of dumb fucks refusing to shut up and some rebels or hells angels have pounded the living shit out of them.

got a religion? wonderful. enjoy it. don't knock on my door to tell me about it. (ok i shouldn't drink, i'm yabbering like an idiot). but if i want religion. i will find it. if you come to find me, suggestive selling, be sure i'll shove it in your face.
anyway, they couldn't deal with it. i think they put some secret mark on the front gate. shit, maybe on the whole town. cause we only ever had two of them visit. ever. stupid frikken idiots. like as. if. you. would. ever. buy. a. religion. from. a. door. to. door. salesman!

when are door-to-door sales-people in season again? i need to renew my gun license.

(only edited slightly the next day. the crap that i write just amazes me)

torturing telemarketers

oh god yes, torturing telemarketers. here is my personal favourite (below), from a joke email which has no doubt circled the globe 50 times and caused at least a small amount of miserableness. it's fun, but i'm not in the same league as the writers of these.

these others though are worth a look, at least for the giggle factor:

How To Destroy The Telemarketing Industry And Have Fun At It

this guy must be the god of torturing telemarketers

telemarketers (suck) (very snarky, i like)




Tormenting Telemarketers

Tormenting Telemarketers. A Game You Can Play at Home! Everyone has gotten a call from a Telemarketer. The new Scourge of the Telephone System. Previously when the phone rang, you always wondered if it was someone you knew, or another schmuck with something to sell. Well, the time has come to turn the tables. We need to take control of our own phones. We need to take the "market" out of Telemarketing.

Premise:
Telemarketers take the brute force approach to making sales. If you talk to a whole bunch of people, someone will buy what you are selling.

Counter-Tactic:
Waste as much of their time as you can. For each minute that you waste means several potential customers that will not be reached. Make Telemarketing unprofitable. Hanging up only increases the changes for them to make a sale. Don't let this happen!

Hints:
Most of the preliminary stuff is done by someone making minimum wage, and reads a script. Let them finish. It's easy points, and you were watching Star Trek and weren't using your phone anyway. It's easy to keep them interested using "attentive grunting", similar to when your mother calls.

Scoring:

Basic Point System:

For each minute spent on the phone 10 pts.

Getting transferred to someone who makes
more than minimum wage 15 pts

For each minute spent on the phone with
person making more than minimum wage 25 pts


Bonus Points:

Getting them to repeat part of the "script" 5 pts/each
Getting answers to stupid questions 15 pts/each
Changing the subject 50 pts/each
Making the salesperson angry 175 pts
Making the salesperson hang up 750 pts
Call back, get their boss on the phone, and
tell them the salesperson hung up on you 1500 pts

Getting their 1-800- number 10 pts
Checking the number a week later and it is
busy or disconnected 5000 pts


Example:

Ring
Me: Yes?
Them: Hi, I'm with Fly-By-Night Carpet Cleaning and we're in
your area [...] [start clock->]
Them: [...] would like to know it you are interested?
Me: Sure...
Them: Well, we are currently offering [...]
Them: [...] depending on the size of the rooms.
Me: Well, how much for the whole house? [15 bonus pts!]
Them: Let me transfer you to
Them: Sir?
Me: Yes? [25 pts/min!]
Them: How large is your house?
Me: Oh, about 2,000 sqft.
Them: [...] Well, that would be about $xxx
Me: [duh?] It won't hurt the floor, will it?
Them: Oh, no! We use a [...this usually takes some time!...]
and is completely safe.
Me: [duh?] Even with my pets?
Them: Oh, yes. The chemicals we use [...]
Me: Do you have to pre-treat, since I have pets?
Them: Yes, and we do that with [...]
Me: [repeat!] But the original offer was for $39.95, does that
include treating for pets?
Them: [...]
Me: [subject change] Well, it is kind of dirty. The guys
were over for the game. Did you see the Cowboys vs. the Rams?
Them: Yes.
Me: What a game! That last touchdown pass! Wasn't that
a great play?
Them: Well, back to your house...
Me: Oh yes, what about moving the furniture?
Them: [...]
Me: [subject change] Do you clean furniture, too? Those
guys spilled some beer. Have you smelled old beer on
furniture before? But what a game, eh?! I couldn't believe that they couldn't move the ball in the second
quarter...[...]
Them: [angry???] Ahem... Would you like us to come out?
Me: Well, when could you come out?
Them: How about next week?
Me: Hmmm... Morning or afternoon?
Them: Either would be fine.
Me: Do you have anything the week after?
Them: Sure, can I put you down for Tuesday?

[Okay, let's try for those last big bonus points:]

Me: Well, I don't think it matters, since I have all
hardwood floors here!
Them: click Yes! 750 points!

summer is over?

drat! it's the first of autumn, i want it to be summer still! i was so busy havin fun that autumn crept up on me.
but the weather is still nice, so i'm going to the beach.

and i've finally managed to get my winter surfing buddies sorted out. my 2 kids. the only problem is that i have to buy them wetsuits and maybe a new surfboard. we just went out and had a little paddle. ok, the waves were crap, the wind is blowing onshore and making it into a huge mess. but they both seemed to enjoy themselves and had cheeky little grins when it was time to take them home.

only now i've had to head back to work to fix something that stuffed up on the weekend. ok, it was my fault it stuffed up, because i had a huge hangover at work on friday and completely forgot to do something important. doh! i hate it when i stuffup like that. even worse is when you don't remember until you are lying in bed on a monday morning, pondering pressing the snooze button on the alarm clock and going to work late. then you are wide awake out of bed and yelling abuse at yourself as you madly try to get ready and get to work and unstuff it. drat drat drat.